pathan funny jokes

pathan funny jokes

Aik pathan ne Veena Malik se masjid ka chanda manga.

Veena : ap log to kehte hen k mera paisa naapak hai?
Pathan : tumhary paison se hum BATHROOM banaey gy..;-)

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Doctor Ne Pathan Ko Samjhaya Ke Agar Wo Roz 3 Km Chale To 1 Saal Mein 50 Kg Wazan kam Ho Jaye Ga.

1 Saal Baad Pathan Ne Doctor Ko Call Ki,

Doctor Sahib Wazan To Kam Ho Geya  Hy Magar 1 Problem Ho Gayi

Dr: What problem.

Pathan:  Khocha Ham Apna Ghar se 1100km Door Pohanch Geya Hy…

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher:
Jo mere sawal ka jawab dega wo ghr ja skta hy.,
Pathan ne foran apna bag khirki se bahir phenka.. ;)
Teacher:
Ye bag kis ne phenka hai..???
;>
,
Pathan:
Main ne ….. yahooo.. … Chutti :-)

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan Bachpan Se Heran-o-Pareshan or Tension Mein Tha,
.

.
.
Yeh Soch Kar Ke Meri Behin Ke 2 Bhai Hai, or Mera 1 Bhai Kyun?
Teacher shocked… :
<. .Pathan Rocked...:<.

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan : Mobile Me Kuch songs Load Krwane Hein…
Dukandar : Memory Card Hy?
Pathan : Shanaakhti Card hai Memory card to abhi nahi banwaya…

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Kabutar Pathan Ko Boht Dino Se Tang Kar Raha Tha
.
Pathan Ne Usey Pakar Lia, Or Usey Marne Ka Faisla Kia
.
Usey Chat Par Le Gia,
.
Or
.
Wahan Se Neche Phaink Dia…

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Ak Pathan estri beach raha tha,

To us sy ksi sakhs ne pocha k istri kitne ki hai,

Wo bola 1000 rupe ki us sakshs ne kha k 1500 le lo to pathan ne kha nahi bahi ware nahe khata.

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan Blood k

Barey mein Book

Parh Raha tha..

Wife : Ye Q Parh

Rahe ho?

Pathan: Mujhe

Doctor ne Kaha

hai k BLOOD

TEST ho Ga.

is liye Tayari

kr raha hon...!

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan Ko Road pe say 100 Rupay Ka note mila

Jis par likha tha,,

.

.

. “Eid Mubarak”

PatHan Ne Note Pocket mein dala or Bola

“khair Mubarak” ;p : )

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.

. 

Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.

.

Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga

Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai

.

Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Police ne Pathan k ghar ka darwaza bajaya ..

Pathan ander se bola :

KON?

Police : "Darwaza kholo tum se baat kerni hai"

Pathan : "Tum log kitny ho??"

Police : " 3

Pathan : "To apas me baaten ker lo naa!!!":-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Ek pathan ne new car li

aur drive pe nekla thora agay gaya to toll plaza aya admi bola han khan g!!!

pathan bola full kar do:-D

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan Namaz parh raha tha

.

To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.

.

Pathan Namaz thor kar bola: 

Es ko bolo ke "hum ne Haj bhi kia hai"

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

PATHAN Ne Zoo Me Sher Ka Pinjra Khula Chor Dya

OFFiCER: Tumne Sher Ka Pinjra Lock Nai Kia

PATHAN:

Kia Zarurat Hy Sir

itne khof nak janwar ko Kon Chori Karega.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan Mob?Le Company Me Job Lene Gaya:

PehLe H? SawaL Ka Jawab Dene Pr Use Maar Kr ?haga D?ya

SawaL Tha?

Subse Mashoor Network Konsa Hy?

Pathan

Cartoon Network

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan: Aaj mai bus ke peche bhagty howe ghar tak aya hon, owr karaye ke 20 rupey bhi bacha leye.

.

2nd Pathan: Tum boht bewakof ho, Rekshe ke peche bhagty tu 80 rupey bach jaty

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ki hui jis se shadi wo thi itni saadi,

Ghongat me sharma k boli,

Bhaiya ye kia ho rha hy

Pathan ne kaha chup Raho Baji hamara tmhara Nikah ho raha hy

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

5 Phatan Mil kAr Minar-e-PAKistaN ko dHika lAga rEhay tHay,

eK adMi nE pOcha kYa kAr rEhay ho ?

PHaTaNoN nE kAha :

Hamare Ustad ne kaha hAi k Pakistan kO le kaR Agy bHaRo . ;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher: Es mohawary ko estimal karo "mun mai pani aana"

.

Pathan Student: Jaisy hi mai ne Nal ko mun laga ke Nal chalu kia, tu mairy mun mai pani agia

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Sir : Batao is dunya me sub se mushkil se kon peda hua?

Pathan : Sir' India ka Sunny Deval.

Sir : Wo kesy?

Pathan : Sir wo kehta hai,

Main Nikla ,Gaddi lay K....:-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan Apne 1 Saal K Bache Ko Hosptal Le Kr Gya

Dr: Isko Koi Sakht Cheez To Nai Khelai?

Pathan: Nai Kal Yeh Bohat Ro Rha Tha To Bas 1 Chutki Naswar Di Thi ;->

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan: Raat ko 1 admi ne Chaku dekha kar loot lia

.

Dost: Lekin tumhare pas tu hamaisha PISTOL hoti hai na

.

Pathan: Wo mai ne chupa di warna wo bhi le jata

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Khan Cycle par sy larki k samny zor sy gira

Aur Faorun hi

khhra ho gya

Larki:

“Oh my God! Kia hua?”

Khan:

” Kuch Nahi, Ham Cycle sy aisy hi uterta hai”;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Ek Pathan Pe Bijli Ka Taar Gir Gaya:

Pathan Tarap Tarap k Marne He Wala Tha,

K

Usay Yaad Aaya

K

Bijli 2 Din Se Band Hai. :-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan 2 shopkeeper: Bhai sahb 1 rupia ka Easy Load kardo

.

Shopkeeper: 1 rupey ke load se kesi ko call karni hai ya msg?

.

Pathan: Karna tu kuch bhi nahi, 

Bus aisy hi paisy urany ki adat hai

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan : PCO kidhar hae,

AADMI ne ishara kar ke bataya.

Pathan PCO me gaya , jaib se mobile nikala aur baat kar ke bahir aa gaya.

Aadmi ne pocha jab aap ke pass mobile tha to PCO main kiyon gae.

Pathan : Mere dost ne kaha tha ke PCO se phone karo ge to Paise kam lage gen.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Doctor ne pathan ko samjhaya k agar wo roz 3 km chalay to 1 saal mein 50 kg wazan kam ho jayega.

1 saal baad pathan ne doctor ko call ki: wazan to kam ho gayi magar 1 problm ho gayee.

Dr: wat problm.

Pathan: khocha ham apna ghar se 1100km door pohanch gya ho… ;->

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

3 Pathan film "Sholay" daikhny gaye

.

Hero ne kaha "Basanti en kutton ke samny mat nachna

.

Pathan khary hokar boly: "Ticket lia hai, eska baap bhi nachega"

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan's logic

Who Is The Leader Of Ducks?

Ans: 'Frog'

Why?

,

,

,

,

,

,

Because Frog Is

'MAINDUCK'

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher:

“Qarz-e-Hasna kisay kehte hain”?

Pathan:

“Jab Qarz denay wala paise wapis mangay, aur qarz Lene wala HANS day, to usay Qarz-e-Hasna kehte hen”!

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ka challenge

Pathan: Mai Meenar-e-pakistan ko sar par utha kar Peshawar le ja sakta hon.

.

Hazaron log ekathay ho gaye

.

Pathan: Bas ese utha kar mairy sar par rakho tum !

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan to Bill Gates:

Wo yaara tum bi kamal ka admi ho!

GATES:

WHY?

Phatan:

Khocha Tum ne naam GATES rkha howa hai.,

or

Kaam tum WINDOWS ka karta hy...

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ki tang me gehra cut lag gya

Nurse: Is me 10 tankey lage’nge

Pathan : ktna kharcha hoga?

Nurse:3000

Pathan:tanka lgwana hy

Karhai nhi karwani =P ;)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan 1: Yaar soraj raat ko kion nahi nikalta?

.

Pathan 2: Kia pata nikalta ho, agar, etny andhairy mai kis ko dekhayi dega !!

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Bhikari:

ALLAH k nam pr kch de do.

Pathan 100 ka note dikhaty huy bola:

kia tmhary pas 50 hai?

Bhikari:

khushi se g hain

Pathan:

to kocha pehlay wo kharch kro

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan: Yar mairy lie koi achi larki ka reshta dekh laina 

.

Friend: 1 Larki hai B.com ki

.

Pathan: Qoam koi bhi ho bus taleem yafta ho

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Sir : Batao is dunya me sub se mushkil se kon peda hua?

Pathan : Sir' India ka Sunny Deval.

Sir : Wo kesy?

Pathan : Sir wo kehta hai,

Main Nikla ,Gaddi lay K....:-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan: Mere Mohalley Wale Bohat Kanjoos Hein.

Dost: Kiun?

Pathan: Sab Ne 14 Aug Manai Par Kisi Ne Qurbani Ka Gosht Nahi Bheja;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan ne apni bhabhi ko jaan se mar diya

.

Logon ne pocha ke kion mara?

.

Pathan: Yaar mai jis se bhi pochta ke phone pe kis se bat kar rahy ho, kehta

Tumhari bhabhi se

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Khan Cycle par sy larki k samny zor sy gira

Aur Faorun hi

khhra ho gya

Larki:

“Oh my God! Kia hua?”

Khan:

” Kuch Nahi, Ham Cycle sy aisy hi uterta hai”;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan bus me pori seat par pheal kar betha tha

Stop se ek aadmi cadha aur jaga mange

Pathan:oye tere ko pta nahe k me kun he?

Aadmi dar gaya aur khada raha

Next stop se ek aadmi cadha aur jaga mangi

Pathan ne phr bharm karwaya

Us ne pathan ko pakd lia aur kaha bta to kun he?

Pathan:muhammad gul khan zai.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ke ghar chor agia

Pathan ne daikha tu chor bhaag gia

.

Pathan chor ke peche bhagty bhagty agay nekal gia

.

Pathan: Ek to chori oper se "RACE" lagata hai hamary sath

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Smjne ki kosish kro mujhy tang mat kro

Mjy akela chor do.rat tmhari waja sy so nhi ska.Mat khelo mri zindgi se

.

.

.

.

.

1 pathan hath jor kr machar se keh rha tha.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher, gul khan tum class mein topi kiun phan kar aay ho

Gul khan, teacher kisi ko pata na chalay kay mery dimag mein kia chal raha hai…=P;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Larki: Mairy ammi ko tum boht pasand aye ho

.

Pathan: Kuch bhi ho, hum shadi tum se hi karega

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan's logic

Who Is The Leader Of Ducks?

Ans: 'Frog'

,

Why?

,

,

,

,

,

,

,

Because Frog Is

'MAINDUCK'

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan: Yawr Sooraj Raat Ko Kyu Nhi Nikalta?

2nd Pathan:

Hahahaha

Niklega Bhi ToU Andhere Main Tere Baap K0 Bhi Nazar Nahi Aye Ga… =P ;->

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan ne pehli bar aaina daikh kar bol: Esko tu kahin daikha hai

Boht dair sochny ke baad bola:Oye yai tu wahi bagerat hai Jo shadi ka album 

mai hamara bewi ke sath betha hai

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Smjne ki kosish kro mujhy tang mat kro

Mjy akela chor do.rat tmhari waja sy so nhi ska.Mat khelo mri zindgi se

.

.

.

.

.

1 pathan hath jor kr machar se keh rha tha.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan baalti mai pani le ke ja raha tha, ke barish shuro ho gayi

Owr barish ka pani baalti mai chala gia

.

Pathan: Oho ! Sara pani geela hogia

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Ek pathan scheme wali bottle ka dhakan bar bar khol k band kar raha tha.

kisi ne pucha kya hua?

pathan: khocha dhakan mai likha hai

“try again”

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Angraiz Sharab Pee Raha Tha

Pathan Nay Usay Daikha Aur Kaha:

Hum Is Say Bhi Acha Nasha Karwata Hai Tum Ko

Aur

Angraiz Ko Chars Ka Kash Lagwa Dia

Angraiz Behosh Ho Gia

Kuch Arsay Bad

Jb Dobara Dono Ki Mulaqat Hoi To

Pathan Nay Phir Kash Laganay Ko Kaha

Angraiz Bola: No Yaar Ye Nasha Buhut Sakht Hai

Nash Utarnay Kay Bad Pechhay Buhut Dard Hota Hay

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan apni bv k 7film dek rha tha

film me jaj ne kaha ye adalt 2 din bad apna faisla sunaygi

Pathan ne tv band kr dya ur apne Biwi se kaha 2din bad dekhege

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Pathan interview dene ke liye gya,

Officer:-

"Tum kitne bhai behen ho?"

Pathan:- 9

Officer:-

"Un mein tumhara kon sa no. ha?"

Pathan:-

.

.

.

.

.

'Telenor ka'..:-D

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 patan ne jali note banaya orr Quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gaya

Jab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:

Iski tou topi nahi hay.

Pathan Bola:

Ye Quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay…=P;->

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ne shesha kharida.

Pathan:- Is sheeshay ki koi guarantee?

Shopkeeper:- Ap isko 100 manzil se nichy girao, ye 99 manzil tk nhi totey ga

Pathan:- Jio SHEHZADY ker dey pack..!

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

New Teacher:

“Anbody Who Thinks He Is Stupid,

stand Up”

Pathan Stoodup

Teacher: R U Stupid?

Pathan: Nhi

Ap Akeli Khari Theen MuJhe Acha Nhi Lagrha Tha =P ;->

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Aek pathan pheli bar Biryani bana raha tha,

Har cheez book me dekhta aor dal deta,

achank wo pateli k uppar chara aor Zor se aek Paad mara

sath khary admi ne pucha: ye kya harkat thi?

Pathan: Reciep mai likha hai, ek TAIZ PAAT b daalen khushbu k lye. :-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ko DRIP

lagi.

Jab Drip END

hone lagi to usne

apne bhai se

kaha: Jao SISTER

ko bula k lao.

wo gaya or...

.

.

.

3 din bad

Peshawar se apni

BEHAN ko le aya...

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher Pathan Se: Batao Allama Iqbal Kaha Peda Huwe oR Unhone Kaha Taleem Hasil Ki?

PATHAN : Wo Hospital Men Peda Huwe oR School Men Taleem Hasil Ki, ;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

ustaad pathan se pakistan k kitny soobay hay?

pathan (4)

ustaad sahabash un k naam batao pathan: mashrik, maghrib, shumal, junoob.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Aik Pathan Quaid e Azam k Mazar ja kar dua kar raha tha,

“Mera Prize Bond hr soorat mein nikalna chahiye.”

Jaisay hi wo Mazar se bahir aya kisi ne us ki jaib se Prize-bond nikaal liya.

Wo dobara Mazar par gya aur bola,

“JINNAH SAHIB,

pehley puri baat to samajh liya karain.”

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan:

A Man Jumpd into Water & Didnt Come Out

Anothr Man Jumpd into Water & Didnt Come Out

A Pathan Scientst Was Watching

& Concluded

“Humans r Soluble in water”

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan:College Ki Ladki se Bola

I love U!

Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo

Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hun

Pathan: pagal ki buchi sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai hai.:

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan galti se samunder me gir gaya…. Doobte doobte uske hath me machli aayi….use pakad kar bahar pheka aur bola Ja tu toh apni jan

bacha le…;-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

SARDAR:

Batao aisa kiya karen k Saanp bhi mar jaye aur Laathi bhi na tootay ?

,

,

PATHAN:

Jootay se maar do:)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ki 2 Beveyan Lar pari..Aik boli k Aaj sunday Hay.or 2sari boli ni .Aaj Mondy Hay.

PATHAN Tang Aa k Bola

hum kya Pagal Hun. Jo Juma parh k Aya Hun?

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 pathan jahaz m 1 seet pr beth gaya aur wahan se uthne ka nam hi nhi le raha tha,logon ne bht minaten ki mgr wo na mana wo keh raha tha k khan ka zaban 1 hai hum apna faisla nhi badlega,to 1 shakhs aya aur usy kan m kuch kaha to faorn uthkr agli seet pr beth gya,log heran ho gay aur us shkhs se puch k tune usy kya kaha jo wo man gaya,

Admi ! Main kaha k khan ap kahan jaoge?to pathan ne kaha k dubai,to maine kaha k dubai ki seet agli h ye lahor ki seet h.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan 1st time jahaz py batha jesy hi jahaz ka agla tyre oper utha tu pathn pilot ko marny lga or bola mai Pahly hi dara howa hon or tm one wheeling kr rhy ho

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher: Tumhare Abbu ka kya naam hai?

Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: yeh kaisa naam hua?

Pathan: hum jahan b hota hai, wo humko dhoond hi leta hai.

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ka ?aita Awaaz ?adal ker Apnay Master ko ?all kerta Hy..

“Maira ?aita Aaj Theek Nahi Hy, Aaj Nahi Aa ?akta”

Master Awaaz Pehchan ker Ghussay ?y ?ola..

Tum kon ?aat ker Rahay Hou?

?acha Ghabratay Huay: Mairay Abbu ?aat ker Rahay Hain..

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher To Pathan: ?eta Q ROo Rahe Ho

Pathan: ?ir ?chool ki ?ell Toot Gai Hy

Teacher: Tou Is Main ROone ki kya ?aat Hy

Pathan: Ab Humari ?hotti kaise Hogi

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan ki chand k barey mey new theory.
.
.
Moon is better than Sun because
Moon gives light in night
when light is needed
but Sun gives light in day
when light is not needed..:p:p

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Police ne Pathan k ghar ka darwaza bajaya ..

Pathan ander se bola :

KON?

Police : "Darwaza kholo tum se baat kerni hai"

Pathan : "Tum log kitny ho??"

Police : " 3

Pathan : "To apas me baaten ker lo naa!!!":-)

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Pathan apni BV sa chal Honeymoon pr chaltey hain

Wife:Nahi muje kaprey dhoney hain tum meray bhai ko le jao

Pathan:O Yessssssss

O Yessssss

 Wo Kahan hy??

,

Wife:

wo msg pahr raha he

Hasso mat pathan aa raha ha apKo leny jaldi tyar hOjao..

 <<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 Kabutar Pathan Ko Boht Dino Se Tang Kar Raha Tha

.

Pathan Ne Usey Pakar Lia, Or Usey Marne Ka Faisla Kia

.

Usey Chat Par Le Gia,

.

Or

.

Wahan Se Neche Phaink Dia…

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>