Best hindi jokes collection

Best hindi jokes collection

Best hindi jokes collection in hindi funny chutkule 140 word funny sms facebook whatsapp new sms message free download best top funny chutkule comedy short

Pati Patni Bhoot Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Pati se pucha gaya sawal :

“Agar aap ki patni ko bhoot pakadh le

to aap kya karenge”

Pati : Mai kya karu…

Galti Bhoot ki hai… khud bhukte…

Exam Question Paper Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Nursary ke ek bache ne exam me answer sheet pe hi susu kar dena..

Teacher ne pucha : Tumne aaisa kyu kiya..

Bacha : Mummy ne bola tha ki ..

jo pahle aaye usse kar dena paper me…

Traffic Police And College Boy Funny Jokes

Aaj traffic police wale ne hamari gadhi roki..

Kyuki humne helmate nahi pahni thi..

Usne bike ki chabhi nikali aur bola :

“Aajao mere picha”

.

.

fir kya..

.

hum to hum hai…

.

jeb se dusri chabhi nikali aur bike start ki ..

fir police wale ko bola :

“Ab tu aaja mere piche piche”

Teacher Student Insult Funny Jokes Chutkule

Teacher : Batao “Monkey” ko hindi me kya bolte hai …

Student : “Bandar” …

Teacher : Books se dekh ke bola na …

Student : Nahi Sir .. Maine to aap ko dekh ke bola…

Class Ki Ladki Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Ladka Class ki ladki se bolta hai..

Ladka : Main tumhe sach mein bahut pasand karta hu…

Ladki : Meri chappal ki size pata hai na…??

Ladki : Lo karlo baat, dosti hui nahi ki, farmaish shuru

Facebook Group Admin Funny Jokes Chutkule

Admin Ki Jabardat Insult..

Maa : Ja bazar se  sabji le aa ..

Admin : Had ho gai… ab admin sabji lene jayega..

Maa : Ja raha hai ya warna …

Chappal se facebook ka bhoot uthar du..

aur jhadu se whats app ki chudhail..

Admin : Jaa to raha hu … mai to puch raha hu .. thaila kaha hai..

Group Admin Funny Jokes Funny Chutkule

Bhoot ka beta haste huwe bhoot se bola..

Papa hum kitne darawane hai na…

Bhoot : Kabhi ghamant nahi karte beta..

tune kabhi admin ko dekha hai…

Vakil Police Aur Chor Funny Jokes Chutkule

Vakil (Chor se ) :

Tumne police ki jeb me jalta huwa machish kyu dala..

Chor : ye mujhe bol raha tha ki

jamanat karwani hai to pahle jeb garam karo ..

Pappu Mummy Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkila

Pappu purani album dekh raha tha..

Pappu (Mummy se) :

Mummy ye aap ke sath handsome sa aadami kaun hai..

Mummy : Ye tumhare papa hai ..

Pappu : To phir hum iss takale ke sath kyu rah rahe hai..

Billi ( Cat ) Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Santa sardi me apni billi ko thandhe pani se nahla raha tha..

Banta : Thande pani se mat nahla mar jayegi..

(Jab Banta ghar wapis aaya to billi mar gai thi)

Banta : Maine bola tha na billi mar jayegi,,,

Santa : Aree yar billi nahalane se nahi mari..

balki nahlane ke bad nichorne se mar gai…

Ladka Ladki Shadi Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ladke wale ladki dekhane gaye..

Ladke ka pita : Waise to hamare ladke me koi kami nahi hai..

bas hasta hai to dat bhadhe lagte hai..

Ladki ka pita : Tension mat lijiye…

meri beti husko hasne ka moka hi nahi degi..

Santa Banta Shadi Funny Hindi Jokes Chutkule

Santa banta se bolta hai :

Suna hai teri shadi tay ho gai hai..

wo bhi ek bahut choti height wali ladki se..

Banta : Han yar mushibat jitni choti hai utna thik…

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Hindi Funny Jokes

Pappu: Sister mujhe ek botal khun dedo.

Sister: Blood group kya hai.

Pappu: Koi sa bhi chalega.

Sister: Kyu….

Pappu: Girlfriend ko love latter likhna hai.

Ladki Aur Baba Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ladki : Agar main kisi jawan ladke ko kiss karu,to kya hoga??

Baba : Narak mein jaogi

Ladki : Acha, agar main aap ko kiss karu to ??

Baba : Chaalaak aurat, swarg mein jana chahti hai

Airtel 4G Girl Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Airtel 4G wali ladki auto se ja rahi thi..

Ladki : Bhaiya aapka meter bahut tez chal raha hai..

kuch to gadbar hai..

Auto Driver : Gadbad Nahi madam 4G hai..

Santa Banta Funny Jokes Collection And Chutkule

Santa (Banta se) : Kal maine teri bhabhi ko

payar se katil bola to samosha aur chay khane ko mila..

Banta : Thik hai aaj mai bhi boluga apni biwi ko…

aur samosha khauga..par mai apne andaj me boluga…’

Agale din santa ne pucha :

Samosha mila ?

Banta : Ghusha mila…

Maine to bas hatyaran bola tha usse….

Vakil Aur Ladki Funny Jokes And Hindi SMS

Vakil ne ek bahut hi kubsurat ladki se court me sawal kiya

Vakil : Parso raat tum kaha thi..

Ladki : Mai ek paroshi ke sath ghumne gai thi…

Vakil : To aap kal raat kaha thi..

Ladki : Kal bhi mai ek dusare padosi ke sath ghumane gai thi..

Vakil : To aap aaj raat kya kar rahi hai…

Dusara Vakil bich me hi bola : Objection myload mai ye sawal pahale hi puch chuka hu…

Stupid Man Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Ek aadami ko Highway pe safed patati potane ka kam mila..

Uss adami ne pahle hi din 6 kilometer line bana di…

Dusare din wo 3 kilometer bana paya..

Aur tisare din sirf 1 kilometer…

Contractor ne usse pucha…

tumhara kam slow kaise ho gya..

Adami : Kya karu sahab…

wapish jake potai ke balti se rang lane me time lagata hai…

Pahale din to balti paas thi…

Inspector Hawaldar Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Inspector : Tumne bhagte hue mujarim ko pakadh liya..

Hawaldar : Nahi sir, par maine uske ungaliyo ke nisan le liye,,,,’

Inspector : Chalo thik hai.. kaha hai nisan..

Hawaldar : Mere galo pe…

Police Interview Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Police ke interview me pucha gya sawal :

Agar tumhe bhid ko hatana ho toh..

Tum kya karoge…

Candidate : Mai chada ikatha karna suru kar dunga waha pe…

Vakil Aur Ladki Funny Jokes And Hindi SMS

Vakil ne ek bahut hi kubsurat ladki se court me sawal kiya

Vakil : Parso raat tum kaha thi..

Ladki : Mai ek paroshi ke sath ghumne gai thi…

Vakil : To aap kal raat kaha thi..

Ladki : Kal bhi mai ek dusare padosi ke sath ghumane gai thi..

Vakil : To aap aaj raat kya kar rahi hai…

Dusara Vakil bich me hi bola : Objection myload mai ye sawal pahale hi puch chuka hu…

Stupid Man Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Ek aadami ko Highway pe safed patati potane ka kam mila..

Uss adami ne pahle hi din 6 kilometer line bana di…

Dusare din wo 3 kilometer bana paya..

Aur tisare din sirf 1 kilometer…

Contractor ne usse pucha…

tumhara kam slow kaise ho gya..

Adami : Kya karu sahab…

wapish jake potai ke balti se rang lane me time lagata hai…

Pahale din to balti paas thi…

Inspector Hawaldar Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Inspector : Tumne bhagte hue mujarim ko pakadh liya..

Hawaldar : Nahi sir, par maine uske ungaliyo ke nisan le liye,,,,’

Inspector : Chalo thik hai.. kaha hai nisan..

Hawaldar : Mere galo pe…

Police Interview Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Police ke interview me pucha gya sawal :

Agar tumhe bhid ko hatana ho toh..

Tum kya karoge…

Candidate : Mai chada ikatha karna suru kar dunga waha pe…

Top Indian Vakil Funny Jokes In Hindi

Vakil (Santa se) : Jab mujarim ne chakku mara to tum kitni dur khade thi..

Santa : Sir mai 23 frrt aur 5 inch ki duri pe tha..

Vakil : Tum itna satik kaise bol sakte ho..

Santa : Mujhe pata tha ki koi bevkuf vakil mere se ye sawal jarur puchega…

to maine ye naap ke rakh liya tha…

Sardar Comedy Jokes And Funny Hindi Chutkule

Mandi me sardhar khadha tha..

Sardar : Bhagwan aap mujhe 1000 rupee denge

to mai 500 rupee aap ke charno me chadha dunga..

Sandar ko mandir ke sidhi pe hi 500 rupee mil gaye..

Sardar : kya bhagwan itna bhi bharosha nahi mujhpe..

aapne apna hissa pahle hi rakh liye..

Pati Patni Ladai Jhagdha Jokes & Funny Chutkule

Pati : Kya bat hai aaj saj dhaj ke kaha ja rahi hai..

Patni : Aatam hatya karne ja rahi hu …

Pati : To isme sajane wali kya bat hai…

Patni : Kal meri photo bhi to aayegi aakhbar me…

Pathan Insulting Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Pathan ne amrudh kharida to usme se kidha nikala..

Pathan : Isme to kidha hai…

Amrudh wala : Ye to kismat ki bat hai..

Kya pata agali bar motercycle bhi nikal jaye..

Pathan : 2 kilo dedo fir to..

Ladka Ladki Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ladka (Gaon KiLadki se) : Tu what’s app pe hai kya..

Ladki : Mai to apne ghar pe hu..

Ladka : Mera matlb ki tu whats app use karti hai kya ?

Ladki : Mai to “Fair and Lovely” use karti hu..

Ladka : Aree tu what’s app chalati hai kya ?

Ladki : Mai to saikil chalati hu….

Ladka : Aree meri maa tujhe whats aap chalana aata hai?

Ladki : Nahi tum chala lena mai piche baith jaugi…

Funny Pathan Aur Begam Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Raat ke 2 baje pathan ke begam ka phone bajha..

pathan ne begam ka phone dekha to message tha : “Beautifull”

Pathan gusse se lal ho gya…

Usne ussi time begam ko uthaya…

Pathan : Ye tumhe kaun beautifull likhkar message kar raha haiii…

Biwi ghabara gai …aur phone dekh gali..

Fir chilla ke bolli… aree bevkuf “Beautifull” nahi “Battary full likha hai”

Sardar Comedy Jokes And Funny Hindi Chutkule

Mandi me sardhar khadha tha..

Sardar : Bhagwan aap mujhe 1000 rupee denge

to mai 500 rupee aap ke charno me chadha dunga..

Sandar ko mandir ke sidhi pe hi 500 rupee mil gaye..

Sardar : kya bhagwan itna bhi bharosha nahi mujhpe..

aapne apna hissa pahle hi rakh liye..

Animal Chat On Facebook Hindi Funny Jokes

2 sap Facebook pe chatting kar rahe the..

Saap 1 : Fuss..

Saap 2 : Fuss..

Saap 1 : Fuss..Fuss..

Saap 2 : Fuss..Fuss..

Saap 1 : Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..

Saap 2 : Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..

Saap 1 : Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..Fuss..

Saap 2 : Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..Bho..

Saap 1 : Sale aagya na aukat pe…

Mujhe pata tha tu fack Id bana ke bat kar aaya hai…

Pappu Aur Chor Funny Jokes Funny Jokes

Ek chor chori kar ke ghar se ja raha tha..

Tabhi pappu ki aankh khul gai..

Pappu : Apne saath mera school bag bhi le ja..

warna chilla ka sab ko utha dunga…

Very Funny Sardar Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ek firagi aur sardar samundar kinare ghum rahe the..

Tabhi samne ke board pe lekh ki likha hai :

“Dubate huye ki jan bachane wale ko 500 rupee milege…”

Firagi ne dimag lagya ki…mai dubata hu

aur tu sardar mujhe bacha liyu..

Fir paise aadhe aadhe bant lenge..

Sardar : Thik hai…

Firangi dubane laga..aur chilane laga bachao bachao..

Par sardar chup chap khadha raha..

Firangi bacha mujhe .. mujhko tairana nahi aata..

Sardar : Tune board ke niche ki line nahi padhi,, waha likha tha,,,,

“lash nikalane wale ko 5000 milega”

Malik Aur Inspector Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ek senatary inspector mugi farm ki janch karne laga..

Form ke 3 malik the..

Inspector (Pahale malik se ) : Tum murgi ko kya khilate ho..

Mali : Bajare ke dali ..

Inspector : Itna ganda khana ..isse jail me dal do..

Inspector (Dusare malik se ) : Tum murgi ko kya khilate ho..

Malik : Chawal aur gehu ke dane..

Inspector : Itna ganda khana ..isse jail me dal do..

Inspector (Tisare malik se ) : Tum murgi ko kya khilate ho..

Malik bahut dar jata hai…usse samjh nahi aata kya bole..

.

Malik : Sir hum murgiyo ko 10-10 rupee de dete hai… wo sab apne pasand ka kharid ke kha leti hai…

College Class Room Jokes Funny Teachers Jokes

College ke class me lacture chal raha tha..

Achank hi ek bacha utha ke class se bahar jane laga..

Teacher : Kaha ja rahe ho..

Dusare bacho ne bataya… sir isse nind me chale ki bimari hai…

Teacher : To sala isse class me sone kisne diya…

Nokar Malkin Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Ek Aurat (Dusari aurat se) : Tune aapne nokar se shadi kyu ki ?

Dusari Aurat : Yar wo bahut bigadh gya tha..

pareshan karne ke liya shadi hi kar li

ab wo jald hi sudhar jayega…

Party Me Aurate Lady Party Jokes & Chutkule

Ek party me ek aurat dusare aurat se puchatii hai,,,

wo jo sundar si ladki jo sarab bat rahi thi..

Kaha gai wo..

Dusari Aurat : Kyu tumhe sarab chahiye kya ?

Pahle Aurat : Nahi mai to apne pati ko dundh rahi hu !!!!

Class Madam Aur Pappu Funny Jokes In Hindi

Class ki madam ne kaha :

“Kal subah jaldi aajana

mai kal suraj pe lacture lungi”

Pappu : Mai kal nahi aauga !!!

Madam : Kyu ?

Pappu : Meri mummy itni dur nahi jane degi !!!

Principal Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ek bar principal class me aake baith gya..

Aur master ji ko padhate huye dekhne laga..

Master ji : bolo bacho ganga nadi pathali putra se nikalti hai..

Principal : Ye kya bol rahe hai aap..

Ganga nadi gangotari se nikalti hai…

Teacher : Jab tak mujhe 7 mahine ki salary nahi mil jati ganga nadi

pathali putra se nikale gi…

Class Madam Aur Pappu Funny Jokes In Hindi

Class ki madam ne kaha :

“Kal subah jaldi aajana

mai kal suraj pe lacture lungi”

Pappu : Mai kal nahi aauga !!!

Madam : Kyu ?

Pappu : Meri mummy itni dur nahi jane degi !!!

Principal Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ek bar principal class me aake baith gya..

Aur master ji ko padhate huye dekhne laga..

Master ji : bolo bacho ganga nadi pathali putra se nikalti hai..

Principal : Ye kya bol rahe hai aap..

Ganga nadi gangotari se nikalti hai…

Teacher : Jab tak mujhe 7 mahine ki salary nahi mil jati ganga nadi

pathali putra se nikale gi….

Santa Banta Conversation Funny Jokes In Hindi

Santa : Yar banta ek bat bata

ye vote dalane ki umar 18 aur shadi ki 21 ..

Aisa kyu ???

Banta : Kyu ki sarkar ko bhi pata hai..

Desh sambhalna aashan hai …Par biwi nahi…

Talaq Pati Patni Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Ek mahila apne saheli se bata rahi thi..

“Talaq ke bad mere pati aur mere bich barabar barabar bat gya…

2 bache unke paas rah gaye…aur 2 mere pass…

Saheli : Aur Jayedad ke shath kya huwa ..

Patni : Wo bhi barabar barabar bata..

Hadha unke vakil ke paas aur adha mere vakil ke paas

Santa Ki Pitai Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Banta Santa ke ghar gya to to santa ko

patiyo me bandha huwa bed pe padha paya…

Banta : Yar ye kya hal bana rakha hai..

Santa : Kuch nahi yar kol 10 logo ki bhidh ke mujhe mil ke pita..

Banta : fir tune kuch bola nahi …

Santa : Bala na.. maine bola…dam hai to ek ek karke aao..

Banta : Fir kya huwa ?

Santa : Fir kya hoga… salo ne fir mujhe ek ek karke pita !!!

Watch Man Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Santa : Aaj maine apni patni ko

watch man ke sath picture jate dekh liya..

Banta : To tu unke piche nahi gya ..

Santa : Nahi yar ..

Darsal wo picture maine dekh rahi thi..

Varun Dhawan And Alia Bhatt Jokes In Hindi

Varun dawan alia bhatt se bolta hai :

“Alia raat ko mobile charge mat kar battary fat jati hai”

Alia Bhatt : Tu tension na le..

Maine battary pahle hi nikal di hai ….

Traffic Police Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Pappu ko traffic polic ki nokari mil gai..

Kam ka pahla din tha..

usne dekha ki ek ladki ne singal thod diya hai..

Pappu ne usse rok liya …

aur bola : Tum single todha hai… mai tumhara ab chalan katuga..

Ladki : Thik hai ..

Pappu : Apna nam batao !!!

Ladki :  Laxmi pashad morya harpinhag laninkipa !!

Pappu : Thik hai thik hai…

Agli bar signal mat todhna… jao tum

Pappu Aur Uske Dost Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Pappu 10 meter lambi pipe se hukka pi raha tha..

Dost : Aree ye kya kar raha hai..

itni lambi pipe …

Pappu : Mujhe sash ki bimari hai..

To doctor ke bola hai ki hukka se dur rahiyo tu…

Dost Ki Patni Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Sanat : Ab mai bahut tang aagya hu apni biwi se

Kal mai simala ja raha hu..

Raste me khai aaye gi to usme fek dunga

Banta : Yar tu meri wali ko bhi le ja….

Usse bhi fek aaiyo…

Santa : Yaar tu bura na mane to

teri wali to mai wapashi me fek du …

Naredra Modi And Rajinikant Funny Jokes Hindi

Rajini Kant to narendra modi :

“Mota bhai …bas karu ya aur site lau ”

Modi : Bas kar yar..

waise bhi ab vipaksh me kaha koi bacha hai..

ab paroshi mulak ki seate bhi layega kya !!!

Rajinikant Aur Bacha Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Rajinikant : Hello mai rajini kant bol raha hu !!

Bacha : Ha mai janta hu … Boliya!!!

Rajinikanth : Tumhe kaise pata maine call kiya hai ?

Bacha : Mera phone swich off tha ….. rajinikanth kuch bhi kar sakta hai..

Insulting SMS For Friends Hindi & Funny Jokes

Agar aap ko apna dimag ki jach karni ho to ye kare..

Ek gaye ke samne jake khade ho jaye..

Agar gaye aap ke paas aati hai to

aap ke dimag me bhusha bhara hai…

Aur aap ke paas nahi aati to aap ka dimag khali hai…

Santa Banta Aur Chor Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Santa : Kal raat ko mujhe ek chor ne chaku dikha ke lut liya..

Banta : Par tere paas to 2-2 bandukhe hai..

Santa : Ha to maine unhe chupa li..

warna wo unhe bhi loot leta….

Dhongi Baba Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Ek Baba party me gaye..

Waha log uspe hasne lage..aur mazak udhane lage..

Baba : Dekho hum fakir hai ..hamara mazak na udhao..

Fir bhi log hashe ja rahe the..

Achanak se sabki dikhai dena band ho gya,,,

sab andhe ho gaye,,,

Sare log baba ke charno me aagire..

“baba hame maf karo… humse galti hogai ”

Baba : Aree bevufo koi gernater chala.. light gai hai..

mujhe bhi kuch dikhai nahi de raha…

Santa Banta Ki Funny Bate Hindi Jokes

Santa : Yar ye automatically ka matlb kya hota hai ?

Banta : Dekh simple hai

jab koi takli aurat auto me jaye to

log usse dekh kar kahte hai auto-me-takali  !!!

Bhai Behan Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Chintu Radio Station pe phone karke bolta hai..

“Kya ye 98.5 FM hai ye”

RJ : Ji Ha !!

Chintu : Kya meri aawaj pura sahar sun raha hai..

RJ : JI haa …

Chintu : To fir meri aawaj mere bahan pinki bhi sun rahi hogi..

RJ : Ha bhai ha..

Chintu : Pinki tu sun rahi ho toh tanki ka motar chalu kar de..

mai uper wale toilet me hu.. pani katam ho gya hai..

tera phone lagya tha.. per wo swich off aaraha hai..

Master Ji And Student Funny Jokes Chutkule

Mastar Ji Class ke ek sudent ka lunch kha gye ..

fir dakar marti hue bola..

“Beta ghar me mera nam mat lena

ki mai tumhara lunch kha gya..”

Student : Nahi Master ji mai aap ka nam nahi lunga..

Bol dunga ek kutta mera lunch kha gya..

Malik Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkika

Ek murga tha bahut jiddi tha..

Apne malik ko bahut paresan karta tha..

Malik ne ek din tang aake usse tokari me band kar diya..

Par murga bahut jiddi tha..

Piche se nikal gya..

Fir malik ne usse pinjare me band kar diya..

Par murga bahut jiddi tha..

Piche se nikal gya..

Fir malik ko gussa aagya.. usne murge ko mara..kata aur kha gya..

.

.

Par murga bahut jiddi tha..

Sarab Sarabi Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkile

Ek sarabi sarab pine se barbad ho gya..

Fir usne sarab na pine ki kasam khai…

Aur ghar me padhi khali bottles ko fekhne laga..

Pahli bottle ko fek ke bola ….

Teri wajah se meri nokri gai..

Dusari bottle ko fek ke bol ..

Teri wajah se mera ghar bika…

Tisri bottle ko fek ke bola …

Teri wajah se meri biwi chor ke chali gai ..

Chauthi boltal uthai to wo bhari hue thi..

Sarabi : Tu side me rah… tu bekasur hai..

Kali Billi Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Pappu apni Kali  billi se tang aake usse dur chor aata hai..

Gar aake dekhta hai ki billi usse pahle hi ghar pahuch gai…

Pappu fir billi ku dur chor aata hai… billi fir wapas aajati hai…

Iss  bar pappu ko gussa aajata hai…

Puppu usse dur ke jungle me chor ke ghar aane lagta haii..

Raste me hi pappu ghar par apni mummy ko phone karta hai..

Pappu : Billi ghar pahuch gai kya..

Mummy : Haaa !!!

Pappu : Uss kamini ko yaha bhej… mai rasta bhul gya hu…

Funny Animal Jokes In Hindi And Funny Chutkile

Ek khargosh roj lohar ke dukan pe jata aur ek hi sawal puchta..

Lohar nahi hai bol ke kharosh ko bhaga deta..

Par khargosh agle din issi sawal ke sath tapak jata..

Ek din lohar ko gussa aagya..

Usne lohar ke dat todh diya…Aur bola..

Ab kha ti gajar dekhta hu kaise khata hai..

Agle din kharosh fir aagya..

Khargosh :  Gajar Ka halwa hai kya ?

Girl In Medical Store Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Ek ladki kafi der se medical store ke bahar khadi thi..

Store me kafi logo ki bhidh thi..

Ladki pareshan thi ..aur bhidh khatam hone ka intizar kar rahi thi..

Jab bhidh khata hue to ladki hichkichate hue store me gai..

Ladki ne idhar uthar dekha fir dukan dar se bola :

Bhai sahab mere hone wale pati doctor hai..

ye unka Love Letter hai.. aap jara isse padh dengi

I Love You Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Ek ladka bahut bahut hi amir ladki ko purpose kar deta hai

Ladka : I love You

Lakdi : Mere pass bangla hai…

Car hai.. Bank Balance hai..

Tumhare pass kya hai..

Ladka : Mere pass tere jaisi 4 hai !!!

Doctor Ke Funyy Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Ek aadmi langrata hua aa raha tha.

Use dekh kar do doctor aapas me bat krne lage,

Pehla doctor- Lagta hai iske pair ki hadi tut gai hai

Dusra doctor- Sayad iska angutha tut gaya hai.

Tabhi Tisra doctor bola, chalo issi se puchh lete hai

Doctor: Kya tumhare pair ki haddi tut gai hai

Aadmi: Nahi meri chappal tut gai hai.

5 Star Hotel Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Mai pahli bar 5 star hotel me gya..

Jhijhakte huwe maine chaye ka order diya..

Toh ek saj dhaj ke waiter aaya..

Wo ek ketali me garam pani, ek ketli me dudh..

Chaypati ka pauch aur chini ke cube rakh gya..

Maine Jaise taise chaye bana li..

Fir waiter aake  puchata hai :

Would you like to have anything more , sir ?

Mai bolo “: Matar panir khane ki ikcha thi per banane nahi aati !!!

Facebook Password Hindi Jokes & Funny Chutkila

Pappu apna facebook ka password bar bar bhul jata tha

Pappu ne socha ki koi aisa password rakhu ki

kabhi na bhulu mai…

Pappu ne password rakha “incorrect” !!!

Ab jabhi bhi pappu apna password bhulta hai

Facebook usse khud hi passw0rd bata deta hai

“Your password is incorrect”

Police Comedy Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkila

10-12 log juwa khel rahe the tabhi

waha police aagai !!!

Police ko dekhte hi ek aadami bhag ke

police ke gadhi me baith gya ..

Police : Abe tu khud hi gadhi me jake kyu baith gya ?

Adami : Sir mai pichli bar bhi pakdha gya tha

par gadhi me seat nahi mili thi..

khade hoke jana padha !!!!!

Facebook Like Button Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Facebook ka like button duniya me sabse powerfull chijh hai..

ye cancer ko thik kar sakta hai….

marte insan ko bacha sakta hai..

exam me pass kara sakta hai..

Garibo ki maddat kar sakta hai..

Ye sab to kuch bhi nahi..

Ye to kisi ko thapadh bhi mar sakta hai…….

Bollywood funny Jokes Hindi Sarukh Khan Movies

2017 me devdas banati to kuch aaise dialog hote

Sarukh Khan :  Mummy ne kaha facebook chor do..

Papa ne kaha What’s app chor do…

Dosto ne kaha mobile se balance churana chor do..

Aur paro ne kaha club jana chor do..

Ek din aaisa aayega jab paro ke bache bolege ki..

Mamu aap mummy ka picha chor do….

Facebook Like Button Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Facebook ka like button duniya me sabse powerfull chijh hai..

ye cancer ko thik kar sakta hai….

marte insan ko bacha sakta hai..

exam me pass kara sakta hai..

Garibo ki maddat kar sakta hai..

Ye sab to kuch bhi nahi..

Ye to kisi ko thapadh bhi mar sakta hai…….

Bollywood funny Jokes Hindi Sarukh Khan Movies

2017 me devdas banati to kuch aaise dialog hote

Sarukh Khan :  Mummy ne kaha facebook chor do..

Papa ne kaha What’s app chor do…

Dosto ne kaha mobile se balance churana chor do..

Aur paro ne kaha club jana chor do..

Ek din aaisa aayega jab paro ke bache bolege ki..

Mamu aap mummy ka picha chor do….

Santa In Bar Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Santa pehli dafa bar me gaya aur counter ke pass khade ho gaya

Waha khade ek aadmi ne kaha : Peter scorch, singal……

tabhi Wabi khade dusre aadmi me kaha : Johny woker, singal

Santa ne ek pal ko socha aur counter par khade hokar kaha :
“Santa singh, married”

Top Pappu Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Pappu USA mein tha aur waha ek imaarat me aag lag gayi…..

Pappu (fire brigade se) : Tum logo ko niche phenko main catch karunga…

Pehle ek ladka aaya, phir ladki, phir aadmi phir aurat…

Pappu ne sabko pakad liya

Phir……

Ek negro (kala aadmi) aaya to pappu ne usko chhod diya aur bola…

Abey saalo,

Jo jal gaye hai unhe to mat phenko…

Doctor Aur Compounder Funny Hindi Jokes

Ek doctor ne khasi ke marij ko,

Moshan lagne ki dawa de di.

Compounder doctor se: Aap ne use,

Moshan lagne ki dawa kyu de di.

Doctor: Agli bar khasne se pehle 100 bar sochega.

Husband Wife Aur Hotel Funny Jokes Chutkule

Husband (wife se) : kyaa kaha, ab tak khana tyaar nahi hua???
To main chala hotel mein khana khane

Wife : Aadhe ghante ruk jaiye na

Husband : To kya tum aadhe ghante mein khana tyaar kar logi??

Wife : Nahi ji, tab tak main bhi aapke sath chalne ke liye tyaar ho jati hu

ATM Chor Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkula

ATM me ek chor ne pappu ke sir par bandook taante hue kaha :

Chal, card daal air pura cash nikaal kar mujhe de de

Pappu : Par mere pass to ATM card hi nahi hai

Chor : To phir tu yaha kya kar raha hai??

Pappu : Main to AC ki thandi-thandi hawa khane aaya tha yaha

Taxi Driver And Passenger Funny Jokes Chutkule

Taxi driver (kanjoos passenger se) :
Sir car ke breaks fail ho gaye hai, ab kya karu???

Passenger (gusse me) :

“Haramkhor” pehle meter band kar !!!

Kanjus Pati Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Kanjoos pati haath me blade maar raha tha

Biwi : Yeh kya kar rahe ho ji???

Kanjoos pati : Dettol ki seeshi tut gayi hai

kahi dettol barbad naa ho jaye ..

Laa teri bhi ungli kaat du

Kanjoos Baniya Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Kanjoos baniya : Ek kela kaise diya???

Kele wala : 1 Rs ka

Kanjoos baniya : 60 paise ka deta hai???

Kele wala : 60 paise me to sirf chhilka hi milega

Kanjoos baniya : Le 40 paise, chhilka rakh or kela de de

Kanjush Pati Patni Aur Parosi Funny Jokes

Pati (patni ko aawaz lagate hue)

“Aaj mere sir mein bahut dard ho raha hai…

zara padosh wale sharma ji ke ghar se vicks ki dibbi to maang lana….

Patni : “Arey woh nahi denge”

Pati : Saale ek number ke kanjoos hai….
Chalo main apni hi nikaal leta hu……

meri table ki daraaz mein padi hai

Gaon Me Media Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Ek gaon me baadh aayi thi,

to media wale gram sarpanch ke pass gaye or bole :

Aapke gaon ki aabadi sarkari register mein 500 hai

aur nadi se ab tak 900 log nikaale ja chuke hai, aisa kaise???

Sarpanch : Register ka hisaab sahi hai….

kya hai ki humare gaon me se koi bhi kabhi helicopter par nahi chadha hai,

woh army wale inko nikaal kar kinaare karte hai

aur yeh helicopter par chadhne ke liye phir se paani mein kud jaate hai..

Bank Me Daku Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Ek baar santa aur Banta bank gaye,

waha kuch daaku aa gaye aur bank me lootpaat karne lage

Ek daaku ne kaha : sab log apni-apni jeb se saare rupee nikaal kar mere hawaale kar do

Yeh sun kar Santa ne 1,000 rupee ka note apni jeb se nikala aur dhire se Banta ki aur badhaya

Banta ne hairaani se pucha : yeh kya hai???

Santa : Maine tumse jo 1,000 rupee udhaar liye the wahi lauta raha hu

Husband Wife Ki Ladai Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Husband-wife ki maut ho gayi, wife mar kar daayan ban gayi

aur husband bhoot ban gaya

Jab wife ne husband ko dekha to boli :
Ohh! Tum kaise bhayaank lag rahe ho bhoot ban kar…….

Husband : Haan, par tum mein koi antar nahi aaya,

pehle bhi waise hi thi ,abhi bhi waisi hi ho

Santa In Bar Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Santa pehli dafa bar me gaya aur counter ke pass khade ho gaya

Waha khade ek aadmi ne kaha : Peter scorch, singal……

tabhi Wabi khade dusre aadmi me kaha : Johny woker, singal

Santa ne ek pal ko socha aur counter par khade hokar kaha :
“Santa singh, married”

Facebook Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Baap (beta se) : Chhod de ye facebook ka chakkar

ye tujhe roti nahi dene wali

Beta : Haan papa, mujhe roti nahi dene wali lekin

roti banane wali jarur degi

Pappu Teacher Sawal Jabab Funny Jokes Chutkule

Aaj pappu ne pura school hila dala

Teacher : Chipkali kise kehte hai???

Pappu : Chipkali ek garib magarmach hai,

jise bavhpan me bornvita wala dudh nahi mila,

jis kaaran woh kuposhan ka shikaar ho gaya

Baap Beta Aur Mummy Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Papa (bete se) : Teri mummy aaj itni khamosh kaise???

Beta : papa, mummy ne lipguard manga tha,

maine feviquick pakda diya

Papa :  Beta roz aaisa hi kiya kar ,

fir teri poket money double …

Baap Beta Aur School Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Papa apne bete se : Bevkuf Verma ji ki beti ko dekh,

first aayi hai school mein

Beta : Aur kitna dekhu??

Use dekh dekh kar hi to fail ho gaya

Rajinikanth And KBC Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Rajnikaant KBC khelne gaye

Amitabh : Computer ji, Rajnikant se sawal puchiye

Computer : Main life line use karna chahta hu

Behan Bhai Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Behan ki vidaai ke samay uske chote bhai ne apne pita se pucha :

Beta : Pita ji, Didi ro rahi hain lekin jija ji to nahi ro rahe aisa kyu???

Pita : Beta, kyunki Didi to sirf gate tak hi royegi,

lekin jija ji ko to zindgi bhar rona hai

Muslim Pati Patni Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Muslim pati-patni

Patni ne namaz padh kar haath uthaye aur dua maange bina hi haath niche kar liye

Pati : Yeh kya?? Dua nahi maangi??

Patni : Mangne hi wali thi ki allah aapki tamaam mushkile dur kare ,

lekin tabhi khyaal aaya ki kahi main hi naa nipat jau

Facebook Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Baap (beta se) : Chhod de ye facebook ka chakkar

ye tujhe roti nahi dene wali

Beta : Haan papa, mujhe roti nahi dene wali lekin

roti banane wali jarur degi

Pappu Teacher Sawal Jabab Funny Jokes Chutkule

Aaj pappu ne pura school hila dala

Teacher : Chipkali kise kehte hai???

Pappu : Chipkali ek garib magarmach hai,

jise bavhpan me bornvita wala dudh nahi mila,

jis kaaran woh kuposhan ka shikaar ho gaya

Baap Beta Aur Mummy Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Papa (bete se) : Teri mummy aaj itni khamosh kaise???

Beta : papa, mummy ne lipguard manga tha,

maine feviquick pakda diya

Papa :  Beta roz aaisa hi kiya kar ,

fir teri poket money double …

Baap Beta Aur School Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Papa apne bete se : Bevkuf Verma ji ki beti ko dekh,

first aayi hai school mein

Beta : Aur kitna dekhu??

Use dekh dekh kar hi to fail ho gaya

Rajinikanth And KBC Funny Jokes & Chutkule

Rajnikaant KBC khelne gaye

Amitabh : Computer ji, Rajnikant se sawal puchiye

Computer : Main life line use karna chahta hu

Husband Wife Mind Game Funny Jokes

Wife : Ek game khelte hai…

Husband : Kaun sa game???

Wife : Agar main colour ka naam lu to tum left deewar ko haath lagana aur fruit ka naam lu to right deewar ko haath lagana…

Husband : Agar main jeet gaya to???

Wife : Jo haarega wo jeetne wale ki har baat manega aur wo bhi jindgi bhar…

Husband : Yeh game to main jeetunga chalo khelte hai

Wife : To thik hai khelte hai ready,steady go….orange……

Husband chaar din se soch mein pada hua hai ki yeh colour boli ya fruit ..??

Moral of the story : Biwi se kabhi panga nahi lene ka

Girl Boy Shadi Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkula

Darwaza kholte hi

Girl : Parso meri shaadi hai,

ab kyu aaye ho meri zindgi me wapas???

Boy : Tent lagane ka aur cattering ka order humko hi mila hai..

Kaam- dhandha bhi chhod de kya??

Best Haryanvi Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

West Indies ka cricketer Krish gale haryana ke hospital blood donate karne gaya…..

Uder ek tai ne krish gale ko bade dhyaan se dekha aur boli…

“Arey kaallu, usse khun ki jarurt hai ,
Taarkol ki jarurt ko ni “

Girl Friend Boy Friend Funny Jokes

Girl to boyfriend : Suno, kya tum mere liye sher ko maarkar laa sakte ho??

Boyfriend : No baby, kuch aur batao,
Main tumhare liye aur Kuch bhi laa sakta hu….

Girlfriend : kya main tumhara whatsapp check kar sakti hu???

Boyfriend : kaha hai wo sher jis ke baare mein tum baat kar rahi thi ….???

Husband Wife Mind Game Funny Jokes

Wife : Ek game khelte hai…

Husband : Kaun sa game???

Wife : Agar main colour ka naam lu to tum left deewar ko haath lagana aur fruit ka naam lu to right deewar ko haath lagana…

Husband : Agar main jeet gaya to???

Wife : Jo haarega wo jeetne wale ki har baat manega aur wo bhi jindgi bhar…

Husband : Yeh game to main jeetunga chalo khelte hai

Wife : To thik hai khelte hai ready,steady go….orange……

Husband chaar din se soch mein pada hua hai ki yeh colour boli ya fruit ..??

Moral of the story : Biwi se kabhi panga nahi lene ka

Girl Boy Shadi Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkula

Darwaza kholte hi

Girl : Parso meri shaadi hai,

ab kyu aaye ho meri zindgi me wapas???

Boy : Tent lagane ka aur cattering ka order humko hi mila hai..

Kaam- dhandha bhi chhod de kya??

Best Haryanvi Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

West Indies ka cricketer Krish gale haryana ke hospital blood donate karne gaya…..

Uder ek tai ne krish gale ko bade dhyaan se dekha aur boli…

“Arey kaallu, usse khun ki jarurt hai ,
Taarkol ki jarurt ko ni “

Very Very Funny Pati Patni Panjabi Jokes

Patni : Suno ji agar main mar gayi to

tum kitne din baad dusra vivaah karoge ??

Banta : Mehngai daa jamana hai

kosish te aehi rawegi ki bhog de naal hi reception adjust ho jaawe,,,,

School Teacher Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

3 Aurat aapas mein baat kar rahi thi :

Pehli : Baccho ki jarurt hai kaha se laye…

Dusri : Gaon mein chalke dhundte hain…

Teesri : Kaise bhi karke bacche laane

padenge warna mushkil ho jayegi..

Kuch gaon ki auraton ne unki baat sun li
Aur unhe bahut maara

Yeh soch kar ki yeh bacche uthane wali hai..
Par maar padna band hone par pata chala ki

Teeno teacher hai ,
Aur
school ke liye bacche dhund rahi hai

Handsome Ladka Ladki Funny Jokes & SMS

Handsome sa ladka class me aaya….

Aur saari ladkiyaa use dekhte hi deewani ho gayi

Phir ladke ne aate hi kuch aisa kaha to ladkiya behosh ho gayi

Socho aisa kya kaha hoga???

Thodi jagah dena behan ji….jhaadu lagana hai…

“Haye re berojgaari”

Exam Hall Funny Jokes In Hindi

Santa- Banta se
Bhai khud par sab se jyada garv jab hua….

Jab exam hall mein kuch nahi aa raha tha

aur piche se madam ne kaha tha…
.
.
Sidhe baith piche wala dekh raha hai…

Kasam se seena chhoda ho gaya

Badmash Pappu Funny Jokes

Postman ne door bell bajayi..

Pappu muh mein cigrette aur hath mein
Beer ki bottle lekar bahar aaya…

Postman : Beta, papa ghar mein hai???

Pappu : Saale mujhe dekh kar lagta hai ki papa ghar pe honge

Rahul Gandhi Congress Party Funny Hindi Jokes

Rahul Gandhi Bolte hai ki :

“Congress koi party nahi, ek soch hai”

Aur

Vidya Balan kahti hai :

“Jaha Soch wahi shauchalay”

;;

” Bahut confusion hai yaro “

Bibi Se Pitai Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ek Adami : Bhaiya Bal chote kar do..

Nai : Kitne chote kar du..

::

;;

;;

Adami : Itne Chote Kardo Ki Biwi Ke Hath me

na aa sake !!!

Cricket Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

1 over me kitne balls feke jate hai..

Kya aap ka jabab 6 hai ?

Jalat jabab !!!!

1 over me 1 hi ball 6 bar feki jati hai

bade aaye …..

Cricket ke saukhin ….

Bevkuf Patni Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Patni (Phone pe) : Suno ji window ka lock nahi khul raha hai..

Pati :  Ek kam karo thoda tel garam karke laptop pe dal do..

Patni : Kya isse lock khul jayega..

Pati :  Tum try to karo !!

.

.

***15  Min bad pati phir phone karta hau ***

Pati : Lock khula ?

Patni : Abto laptop hi band ho gya..

Pati : Gavar aurat.. Batana to chahiye tha kaunsa window tha..

.

.

Patni : Window 7 !!!!

hahahahahahah

Always Single Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Pappu police station gya

Inspector : Kya problem hai tumhari ?

Pappu : Sir, Meri girlfriend mil nahi rahi ?

Inspector : Kab se ?

Pappu : Bachpan se sir !!!

Pati Patni Comedy Jokes In Hindi & Funny SMS

Patni :  Kaha ho ?

Pati : Tumhe yad hai hum pichle sal diwali ek jewelery shop gye the..

Jaha tumne ek har pasand kiya tha..

Patni : Ha !!!

Pati : Aur maine kaha tha mere paas paise nahi hai..

Patni Khusi se : Ha !!!

Pati : Aur maine kaha tha mai tumhe ye har ek din jarur lale dunga..

Patni Aur Khushi Se : Ha ha achi tarah yad hai !!

Pati : To bas ussi dukan ke bagal wali dukam me bal kata raha hu..

Der ho jayegi !!!!

Dukandar Grahak Medical Store Funny Hindi joke

Pinki (Dukandar se) : Ek manforce dena !!!

Dukandar : Tum to sharmaji ki beti ho na ?

Pinki : Mentos bola Mentossssssssssss

2-3 vicks ki goli bhi dedena..

Gala kharab hogya hai..

Medicine ka nam bhi nahi nikal raha…

Saitan Bacha Funny Hindi Jokes & SMS

Bacha Maa se : Maa, mujhe  20 rupee dena..

Ek garib ko dena hai..

Maa : Kaha hai garib…

Bacha : Bahar dup me ice  cream bech raha hai

Rahul Gandhi Congress Party Funny Hindi Jokes

Rahul Gandhi Bolte hai ki :

“Congress koi party nahi, ek soch hai”

Aur

Vidya Balan kahti hai :

“Jaha Soch wahi shauchalay”

;;

” Bahut confusion hai yaro “

Sunta Banta Funny Conversation Hindi Jokes

Santa : Bhai ye bata..”Shit” Aur “Oh Shit” me kya farak hai 11

Banta : Dekh bhai..

Tu kisi ladki ko love letter fak ke deta hai

Aur wo letter uske bhai ke paas jake girta hai to hota hai “Shit”

Agar Uska bhai Gay nikala to “Oh Shit”

Wife Se Pareshan Husband Funny Jokes In Hindi

Husband : Yaar, Mai koi bhi kam karta hu

to meri wife bhich me aajti hai..

Friend : Yar…

Tu texi chalane ka kam karke dekh

sayad kismat sath de de…

“Try your best luck”

Wife Se Pareshan Husband Funny Jokes In Hindi

Husband : Yaar, Mai koi bhi kam karta hu

to meri wife bhich me aajti hai..

Friend : Yar…

Tu texi chalane ka kam karke dekh

sayad kismat sath de de…

“Try your best luck”

Baap Beta Aur Biwi Funny Hindi Jokes

Baap ne bete ko Jeans ki button silte dekha to bola ..

Baap :  Beta Maine tumhari sadi ki ..

Bahu laya ghar me.. Fir bhi..

Tum jeans ke button laga rahe ho..

Beta : Papa aap galat samjh rahe ho..

ye mere biwi ki jeans hai…

.

.

Baap behosh

Master Ji Naughty Hindi Jokes & Funny Chutkule

Master Ji (Santa Ji) : Bacho usse admi ka nam batao

jiko apne sarir pe sabse jayada control !!

Santa :  Sunny Leon Ka camera man !!!

Teacher : Wah kya bacha hai.. Jara mere paas aana..

Fir kya tha de thapadh de thapadh !!

Girl Fiend Boy Friend Call Funny Hindi Jokes

Girl : Sorry, phir se tumhe hi call lag gayi…..

Girl Friend : Ghae me koi nahi hai jaldi aajao..

Boy : Pagal hai kya tu… Abhi to lauta hu tere ghar se.

Girl Friend : Sorry Sorry…

Fir Se Tumhe hi call lag gya …

New Funny Hindi Jokes And Funny Chutkule

Hanumanji : Bhilenath ab mai dharti pe nahi rah sakta ..

Bholenath : Kyu ?

Pahle log let ke matha tekte thi..

Fir ghutane tekne lage…

Aur bad me dur se sar jhuka lete hai..

issme bhi mai khush tha..

Par ab to had hi ho gai..Ghor kalyug aagya hai..

Ek Ladki aai aur boli :

Hii Hanu.. What’s app ?

Aise muh kyu fula rakha hai..

Just cool man !!!!

IPL Funny Jokes RBC & MI Hindi Chutkula

Malik bahar chala jaye toh

Nokar dhandhe ki wat lagta hai…

Iska udharan hai : RCB

.

.

Aur Malik jordar ho to Nokar

ji jan lagake kam karta hai..

Iska Udharan hai : MUMBAI INDIANS

Pati Patni Romantic Jokes In Hindi

Patni : Tum mujhse kitna pyar karte ho ?

Pati : Shajaha itna !!!

Patni : Kya tum bhi mere liye taj mahal banwao ge ?

;;

;;

Pati : Mai to plot bhi le chuka hu..pgli der to tu kar rahi hai !!!

Budha Adami Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

60 sal ka budha adami doctor se bolta hai :

Budha Adami : Doctor sahab mere 18 sal ki patni maa banane wali hai..

Doctor : Chalo Mai tumhe ek kahani sunata hu..

Ek sikari jaldi me tha..Usne gun ki jagah chata le liya

Aur jungal chala gya..

Jangal me thodi der chalne ke bad uski ek ser mil gya..

Sikari ne fat se chata khola……….SSSSSSatakkkkkk

Ser wahi fatak se mar gya !!

Budha adami : Ye ho hi nahi sakta.. Usse kisi aur ne mara hoga..

Mai bhi yahi kah raha hu

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Hindi Jokes & Funny SMS

Girlfriend : Aaj se hamara rista khatam.

Hum ek dusare ke sare gift wapis parege…

Pappu : Thik hai recharge se suru karte hai..

Girlfriend : Janu, Ab kya mai mazak bhi nahi kar sakti

Pappu Hindi Jokes – Pappu Ko Mila Sher

Pappu jungle ke raste se ghar ja raha tha.

Use raste ke bich me ek sher dikhai diya,

Jo raste ke bich me hi so raha tha.

Pappu ke Hath-pair kapne lage,

Usne aasman ki traf dekha aur bola

Bhagwan ab to mai mra,

Usdin bhagwan bhi majak ke mund me the

Upar se aawaj aayai, ek pathar utha aur

Sher ke sar pe mar de. pappu ne waisha hi kiya.

Sher gurrata hua utha, upar se fir aawaj aai…….

Beta marega to tu ab….!

Pappu Aur Ladki Top Funny Hindi Jokes

Pappu Ladki Dekhne Gya

Pappu : Bahu Garmi Ho rahi hai..

Ladki Ka Baap : Beta Sarab pite ho..

Pappu : Wo bad me piuga..

Abhi colod drink mangwa digiye

Best Alia Bhatt Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Alia Bhatt Medical Store pe

Dawai lene gai

Alia :  BhaiyaYe dawai dena ..

Ladka : Ye lo ..

Alia : Bhaiya chini to do..

Ladka : Mam yaha chini nahi milti..

Alia : Bevkuf mat banao .. Ispe likha hai..”Sugar Free”

Ab to mai chini leke hi jaugi..

Valentine Day Boyfriend Girlfriend Funny Jokes

Valentine ke din pappu naha dhoke tayar ho gya…

Maa : Beta, Kaha ja raha hai ?

Pappu : Aaj Valentine Day hai na !!!

Maa : Matlb teri bhi girlfriend hai …

Pappu : Nahi maa, mai to bajarang dal se hu..

Lathi charge karne ja raha hu..

Kabari Wala Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Kabari Wala :  Sahab Koi raddi ho to dedijiye..

..

Sahab : Abhi jao..Jab mam sahab ho tab aana..

Abhi Wo maike gai hai..

..

..

Kabari wala : To phir khali botal hi dedijiye..

Baap Beta Funny Hindi Jokes

Bete ke report card pe pita ne angutha lagya !!!

Beta : Ye kya papa …

Aap to engineer ho !!

Fir anguta kyu laga rahe ho …

Pita : Khamosh tera report  card dekh ke teacher ko nahi lagna chahiye ki..

tera baap padha likha hai..

hahahaha…..

Santa Ki Girlfriend Best Funny Jokes And SMS

Santa : Yar.. mai aur meri girlfriend

sadi kar rahe hai..

;;

Banta : Kab ?

;;

Santa : Mai 14 june aur

meri girlfriend 20 june ,,,..

Ladka Ladki Best Comedy Jokes In Hindi

Ladke wale ladki dekhne gaye

Ladke wale :  Apki ladki Ka nam kya hai..

Ladki wale : Hamari payari , Sabki payari.. Rampayari..

Ladki wale : Apke ladke ka nam kya hai..

*Ladke walo ne socha ki sidha sidha bataya to bejati ho jayegi*

Ladke wale  : Humara Guh, Tumhara Guh, Jaggu !!!

Bollywood Whats App Chat Group Funny Jokes

Akhsay Kumar created a bollywood what’s app group…..

Katrina : Hello
Priyanka :  Bol Shila
Kareena :  hahahahaha
Shahid : Hiii bebo !!!
Kareena Left !!!
Saif Left !!!

Priyanka : Sahid  Tum to  Kareena ke gulam ho !!!
Shahid Left    …!!!!
SRK : Muje jungali billi bahut pasand hai   ,,,..
Salman : Toh jungle chala ja ……
Aamir :  Aur Mannat mere naam karke jaiyo ..…
SRK : Chup be bhikhari ….
Anushka : Koi USA chalega mere sath ,……??
Akshay added 9881****88….
Anushka : Yeh kaun hai  ….???
Salman : Virat Kohli Jiju…
Anushka Left  ,,,….
SRK : I’m second richest actor in the world..
Salman : Tiger zinda he bete   ….
Aamir : Ho jaye dangal  …??
Deepika: – Yar .., Yeh 3 fir se ladne lag gaye ….
Kuchh karo ..….!!
.

.
Akshay added 9557*****99
SRK :  Yeh kaun hai Akki…???
Akshay: – Bhai apna introduction de jara…!!
;;
;;
9557*****99 (Prabhas) : Amrendra Baahubali  , yani main…,
.

All 3 khan left group..
hahahaha

Rajinikanth And Madam Funny jokes & SMS

Madam : What is 6 plus 7 ?
Rajinikanth : 13
Madam : That is good ….
Rajinikanth : Good ? That’s perfect !

Alia Bhatt Madam Best Funny Jokes In Hiindi

Madam: Alia , batao. ‘Eiffel Tower’ kaha hai?
Alia Bhatt : TV me. Maine kal hi tv pe dekha tha  …..
Madam : Bevkuf…. Mai sahar ki baat kar rahi hu…sahar ki…. Woh ‘paris’ mein hai.
Alia Bhatt : Sorry madam.
Madam : Ab batao ‘niagara falls’ kaha hai ?
Alia Bhatt : Mere mobile me …. Dekho ye rahi photo !!!!
Madam : Arey badmash…. Mein desh ki baat kar rahi hu desh ki ….
Alia Bhatt : Sorry madam.
Madam : Yeh batao ki ‘statue of liberty’ kaha hai ? Aur iss bar jawab thik se bolna….
Alia Bhatt : Pani me !!

Alia Bhatt Madam Best Funny Jokes In Hiindi

Madam: Alia , batao. ‘Eiffel Tower’ kaha hai?
Alia Bhatt : TV me. Maine kal hi tv pe dekha tha  …..
Madam : Bevkuf…. Mai sahar ki baat kar rahi hu…sahar ki…. Woh ‘paris’ mein hai.
Alia Bhatt : Sorry madam.
Madam : Ab batao ‘niagara falls’ kaha hai ?
Alia Bhatt : Mere mobile me …. Dekho ye rahi photo !!!!
Madam : Arey badmash…. Mein desh ki baat kar rahi hu desh ki ….
Alia Bhatt : Sorry madam.
Madam : Yeh batao ki ‘statue of liberty’ kaha hai ? Aur iss bar jawab thik se bolna….
Alia Bhatt : Pani me !!!!

Pappu Teacher Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Teacher : Pappu batao ki taj kaha hai ?

Pappu : Mumbai me !!

Teacher : Aree Murakh.. Taj to agra hai…itna bhi nahi pata..

Pappu : Toh aapko bolana chahiye na…hotel ya maqbara ?

Hindi Funny Jokes – Pappu Ki Kundli

Pappu ek jyotishee ke pas apni kundli dikhane ke liye gaya.

Jyotishee: Tera nam pappu hai

Pappu khush hokar: Ji ha mharaj.

Jyotishee: Teri biwi ka nam pinki hai,

Teri ek ladki aur do ladke hai.

Pappu: Ji ha ha mharaj……

Jyotishee: Tune abhi abhi 5 kg chawl liya hai.

Pappu: (Mharaj ke pairo me jhukte huye) Ji mharaj

Aap ko to sab pata hai.

Jyotishee ghuse me bola: Agli bar ayega to ‘kundli’ lekar

Aayio, ‘rashan card’ nahi.

Pappu Ki Girlfriend Hindi Jokes & Funny SMS

Girlfriend : Aaj se hamara rista khatam.

Hum ek dusare ke sare gift wapis parege…

Pappu : Thik hai recharge se suru karte hai..

Girlfriend : Janu, Ab kya mai mazak bhi nahi kar sakti

Pappu Hindi Jokes – Pappu Ko Mila Sher

Pappu jungle ke raste se ghar ja raha tha.

Use raste ke bich me ek sher dikhai diya,

Jo raste ke bich me hi so raha tha.

Pappu ke Hath-pair kapne lage,

Usne aasman ki traf dekha aur bola

Bhagwan ab to mai mra,

Usdin bhagwan bhi majak ke mund me the

Upar se aawaj aayai, ek pathar utha aur

Sher ke sar pe mar de. pappu ne waisha hi kiya.

Sher gurrata hua utha, upar se fir aawaj aai…….

Beta marega to tu ab….!

Girlfriend Boyfriend Chatting Funny Jokes

Boyfriend (Phone pe) : Hello Janu, Kya kar rhi ho?

Girlfriend : Kuch nahi … bahut thak gya hu…

Sone ki koshish kar raha hu …

Waise, Tum kaha ho ?

Boyfriend : Club me hu …..tere piche khada hu moti…

Dukandar Aur Lady Funny Jokes & SMS

Lady : Bhaiya mujhe saari leni hai..

Dukandar : Ye dekhiye madam naya design !!

Lady : Aur dikhao

ye nahi

Aur dikhao..

Dukandar : Madam ji aapne sari sariya dekh li..

Ab nahi bachi koi bhi..

Lady : Aree bhaiya waha ek dabba bacha hai..

Wo to aapne dikhaya hi nahi..

Dukandar : Ab reham karo madam ji..

Wo mera lunch ka dabba hai…

Tau Tai Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkula

Ek bar tau ne tai ched di..

Tai tau ko gali dene lagi..

Paas se gujar rahe ek pache ne bola..

Kya huwa tau ..kya bat hai..

.

.

Tau :  Kuch nahi beta … Beta Purana Transformer hai..

Char char kar raha hai…

Biwi Ka Kutta Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ek adami cake ki dukan pe

Dukhandar : Boliye sir kya lenge aap ?

Adami : Apne biwi ke kutte ke liye cake chahiye..

.

.

Dukandar : Yahi khayege ki pack kar du…

Master Student Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Master Ji : Iss Muhavare ka aarath Batao..

“Sap ke puch pe pair rakhna”

Student : Patni Ko maike jane se rokna

..

..

..

..

Master Ji abhi tak sadme me hai ki

Bache ko itni gahrai kaise pata

Doctor Marij Funny Jokes Funny Hindi Chutkule

Marij doctor se bola :

Doctor sahab mujhe bahut khatarnak bimari hue hai

mujhe khane ke bhukh nahi lagti ..

Sone ke bad nind nahi aati..

Aur kam karne ke bad thak jata hu..

Doctor : Ek kam karo…

Roj raat ko dhup me baitha karo..

Thik ho jaoge

Tau Tai Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkula

Ek bar tau ne tai ched di..

Tai tau ko gali dene lagi..

Paas se gujar rahe ek pache ne bola..

Kya huwa tau ..kya bat hai..

.

.

Tau :  Kuch nahi beta … Beta Purana Transformer hai..

Char char kar raha hai…

Biwi Ka Kutta Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ek adami cake ki dukan pe

Dukhandar : Boliye sir kya lenge aap ?

Adami : Apne biwi ke kutte ke liye cake chahiye..

.

.

Dukandar : Yahi khayege ki pack kar du…

Master Student Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Master Ji : Iss Muhavare ka aarath Batao..

“Sap ke puch pe pair rakhna”

Student : Patni Ko maike jane se rokna

..

..

..

..

Master Ji abhi tak sadme me hai ki

Bache ko itni gahrai kaise pata

Top Bhikhari Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Bhikhari (car me baithe aurat se) : Madam 10 rupee dedo..

3 din se bhukha hu..

..

..

Aurat ne paise de diye..

Aur bhikhari jane laga..

..

Tabhi Aurat ne bola..

Baba Duwa to dete jao..

..

..

Bhikhari : “Pahal se hi gadhi me baithi hai ab kya roket pe baithegi moti “

Pati Patni Bedroom Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Dimpal Ki nai nai shadi hue to..

Dimple ne pati se bola..

“Ji sunte ho”

Pati : Ha bolo..

Dimple : ” Kuch aisha karo ki mujhe pashina aajaye ”

.

.

Pati utha aur pankha band karke so gya..

Doctor Ladki Aur Cigarette Funny Jokes Hindi

Ek pareshan Ladki doctor ke paas gai ..

Doctor :  Bolo kya paresani hai ?

Ladki :  Mujhe garmi lagti hai bahut !!

Doctor :  Kab garmi lagt hai ?

Ladki : Jab mai cigarette piti hu tab..

Pahli kash ke bad mujhe pasina aane lagta hai..

Dusri kash ke bad.. Ek kapda utar deti hu..

Tisri Kash ke bad dusara kapda utar deti hu..

..

..

Doctor : Ghabrao mat .. Ye lo cigarette aaram se pite huye batao..

Pagal Ladki Funny Jokes And Funny Chutkule

Ek ladki computer ki conplain karne ke liye

costumer care call karti hai..

Ladki :  Jab mai password likhti hu to..isme star star dikhta hai..

Help Desk : Mam aap ke piche khade aadami ko

passward na dikh jaye uske liye hota hai ye..

Ladki :  Par jab mere pich koi nahi hota tab bhi

ye star hi dikhata hai

3 Talak Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Bharat Me 2 Log sabse jyada dukhi hai

Pahla Muslim Aurat Dusra Hindi Marad..

Pahle ko 3 talak milne se pareshani hai..

Dusre ko talak na milne se pareshani hai

Harami Dost Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Aaj mai ek friend ko 3 bar call kiyo..

Par ek bar bhi na uthaiyo..

Fir maine usse message kiyo..

“Wo tera number mang rahi thi”

Fir usne mujhe 30 bar call kiyo..

Ab mai nahi utha raiyo…

Jony Liver & Rajinikanth ki Bahash Funny Jokes

Ek Bar Rajnikanth kaur Jony Liver Me behasg chidh gai..

Rajinikanth :  Mere gaon me bijali thi ..Maine agar mati jalake padhai ki hai.

Jony Liver : Mere Gaon me na to bijali thi na hi aagarbati …

Rajnikant :  Phir !!

Jony Lever : Mera ek friend tha prakash,,, Usko sath leke padhta tha..

Ek Bar to prakash pani me bhing gya..

Rajinikanth :  Phir kya huwa ?

Jony Lever : Meri ek friend thi joti …Usse bula liya..

.

.

First time rajinikanth socked !!

Best Boss Employee Funny Jokes In Hindi

Employee (Phone pe): Hello Boss Mujhe Terrorist ne pakad liya hai.

Mere dono hath kat diya..

Meri dono aankhe fod diya..

Meri kidney nikal li..

Boss : Dekh l… ho sake to aaja…aaj audit hai

Husband Wife Ke Nakhare Funny Jokes Chutkule

Husband : Brat Hai !!

Wife : Ha..

Husband : Kuch khaya ?

Wife : Ha ..

Husband : Kya ?

Wife : Kela, sev, santara, amrudh,

saburdana, dudh aur mumfali..

.

.

Husband : Bas !!!

Dekh kuch khane ka man ho to bata dena ..

Kahi kamjokri na aajaye…

Most Funny Boy Girl Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Boy : Mujhse shadi karogi ?

Girl : Pagal ho gye ho kya !!!!

Boy : Achi movie hai na ?

Girl : Kutte ke pille..

Boy : Tumne mujhe gali di ?

Girl : Kitne Chote chote hote hai na ,,,

Pati Patni Aur Kutta Funny Hindi Jokes

Ek savyatra ke aage aage ek kutta chal raha tha..

Uske piche saikro ki sankhya me adami line se

piche piche aarahe the..

.

.

Ek rahgir ne pucha :

Bhai shahab ye savyatra ke aage aage ye kutta ja raha hai

ye thoda aajib lag raha hai..

Ye marne wala kaun hai..

.

.

Admi :  Ye marne wali meri biwi hai..

Isse Kutte ne mara..

.

.

Rahgir adami : Kya aap mujhe ye kutta ek din ke liye

udhar de sakte hai..

Meri biwi bhi maike se aane wali hai..

.

.

Adami : Aap ko kya lagta hai..

Ye piche jo log aarahe hai..wo kya mere biwi ke ristedar hai..

Inhe bhi kutta chahiye..

Jao line me lag jao.

Best Santa Banta Jokes And Funny Chutkule

Puls polio ki team santa ke ghar aai

Santa (Biwi se) : Bandukh Aur Kartush kaha hai :

.

Team bhagi..

.

Santa ne piche se aawaj lagai !!!

.

Ruko..

Ruk jao…

.

.

Ye mere bacho ke nam hai..

Ladki Ladka Shayari Funny Jokes In Hindi

Ladki ko dekh ke ek ladka shayar ban gya.

“Lafj tere , Geet mere , gajal koi suna dalukya ? ”

Ladki Boli : “Hath mera, gal tere koi tapadh suna dalu kya ? “

Pagal Ladki Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Ek Ladki kafi time se gift shop pe gift dekh rahii thi

Fir ladki dukandar se bolti hai..

Ladki :  Ye hasti Hue Churail Kitne ki hai..

Dukandar :  Madam  , Ye to mirror (Sisa) hai..

Girlfriend Boyfriend Shadi Funny Hindi Jokes

Girlfriend Boyfriend se bolti hai..

Girlfriend : Saadi Ki bad mai Tumhar sare dukh bat lungi..

Boyfriend : Par mujhe to koi koi dukh hi nahin hai…

Girlfriend : Mai saadi ke bad ki bat kar rahi hu..

Ladka Ladki Propose Funny Jokes And Chutkule

B.com ke ladke ka propose..

Ladka (Laski se) : Tune mere se ko loan le rakha hai kya ?

Ladki : Nahi to ..kyu ?

Ladka : Pata nahi kyu tere pe mera interest badhta hi ja raha hai…

Baap Beta Best Funny Jokes And Funny Chutkule

Baap apne 16 sal ke bete ke sath hotal me gya ,

Papa : Waiter ek bear aur ek ice cream lao..

Beta : Papa , Aap ice cream kyu loge..

Aap bhi bear piyo..

.

fir kya huwa

.

.

De Chapal.. De Chapal…

Pappu And Boss Best Funny Jokes In Hindi

Pappu ki nokari ek badhe company me lag ga…

Boss : Badhai ho.. Aap ki nokari lag gai..

Aap ki salary pahle sal 6 lakh hogi..

Phir dusare sal bhadake 12 lakh kar di jayegi

Pappu uth ke jane laga..

Boss : Kya huwa ?

Pappu : Mai agle sal hi aauga..

.

.

Boss Bhehosh

Ladki Ladka Shayari Funny Jokes In Hindi

Ladki ko dekh ke ek ladka shayar ban gya.

“Lafj tere , Geet mere , gajal koi suna dalukya ? ”

Ladki Boli : “Hath mera, gal tere koi tapadh suna dalu kya ? “

Pagal Ladki Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Ek Ladki kafi time se gift shop pe gift dekh rahii thi

Fir ladki dukandar se bolti hai..

Ladki :  Ye hasti Hue Churail Kitne ki hai..

Dukandar :  Madam  , Ye to mirror (Sisa) hai..

Girlfriend Boyfriend Shadi Funny Hindi Jokes

Girlfriend Boyfriend se bolti hai..

Girlfriend : Saadi Ki bad mai Tumhar sare dukh bat lungi..

Boyfriend : Par mujhe to koi koi dukh hi nahin hai…

Girlfriend : Mai saadi ke bad ki bat kar rahi hu.

Ladka Ladki Propose Funny Jokes And Chutkule

B.com ke ladke ka propose..

Ladka (Laski se) : Tune mere se ko loan le rakha hai kya ?

Ladki : Nahi to ..kyu ?

Ladka : Pata nahi kyu tere pe mera interest badhta hi ja raha hai…

Santa In Bank Funny Jokes & Hindi Chutkule

Bank Manager : Cash Khatam ho gya hai kal aana !!

Santa : Par Mujhe To aaj Hi Chahiye …

Bank manager : Dekhi aap ghussa mat ki jiye

Santi se bat kariyo..

Santa : Thik hai lao apne santi ki..

Ussi se bat karta hui

Santa And Teacher Funny jokes And Chutkule

Santa Aur Banta dono bhai ek hi class me padhte hai.

Teacher : Santa Banta tum dono ne apne papa ke nam

alag alag kyu likha hai..

Santa : Madam, Agar ek hi likhte to aap bolti ki

Humne cheating Ki hai

Chor Funny Hindi Funny Jokes And Chutkule

Ek Raat, ek Chor,
Santa ke Ghar me Ghus gaya aur

Paisa aur sona dudhane laga.

Kafi dhudhane ke bad bhi chor ko sona nahi mile

Fir Chor ne se puche : Sona kaha hai ?

Santa (Gusse Se) : Sale , Pura ghar to khalli hai..

Kahi bhi soja..

Shaita ladke Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Bagwan : Beta Tumhe Chahiye ?
Saitan Ladka : A very Beautiful Ladki.
Bagwan : If u r Muslim I’ll give u Katrina,
If ur a Hindu I’ll give u Kareena,
If ur a christian I’ll give u Genelia,
What’s ur Name?
Saitan Ladka : Abdul Narayan Fernandes.
Bagwan : Rakhi sawant de Kamine ko bahut Over Smart ban raha hai

Girlfriend Boyfriend Shadi Funny Hindi Jokes

Girlfriend Boyfriend se bolti hai..

Girlfriend : Saadi Ki bad mai Tumhar sare dukh bat lungi..

Boyfriend : Par mujhe to koi koi dukh hi nahin hai…

Girlfriend : Mai saadi ke bad ki bat kar rahi hu..

Ladka Ladki Propose Funny Jokes And Chutkule

B.com ke ladke ka propose..

Ladka (Laski se) : Tune mere se ko loan le rakha hai kya ?

Ladki : Nahi to ..kyu ?

Ladka : Pata nahi kyu tere pe mera interest badhta hi ja raha hai…

Exam Hall Boy Girl Funny Jokes In Hindi

EXAM HALL
Girl : 5th ques ka ans pata hai?

Pappu : Haan, yeh wala hai dekh lo

Pappu : 9th ques ka ans pata hai?

Girl : Excuse Me, I Have a Boyfriend.

Pappu Ladki Funny Hindi Jokes And Chukule

Pappu ne school principal ki beti ko pataya,
Dono roz phone par khoob baat karte the,

Ladki : Jaanu tum mujhe kitna yaad karte ho?

Pappu : bahut jyada

Ladki : Main roz tumhare sapno mein aati hu na,

Pappu : Nahi

Ladki : kyun?

Pappu : kyunki, main roz hanuman challisa padhkar sota hu

Ladki shocked

Santa Funny Joke – Santa Air Force Me

Santa : Mummy main bade hokar airforce main jaunga

Aur apne ghar ke upar se plane udaunga

Mummy : Mujhe kaise pata chalega ki woh tumhara plane hain?

Santa : Main ghar par bomb gira ke jaunga

Pappu Funny Jokes – Dusari Shadi Jokes

Pappu (phone par) : Maa,khushkhabari hain

Maa : Bolo beta

Pappu : Hum 2 se 3 ho gaye

Maa : Badhai ho, Ladka hua ya Ladki

Pappu : Naa ladka hua , naa ladki, maine dusri shaadi karli

Family Planning Funny Jokes In Hindi

Family planning ke doctor ne gaon ke logo ko jama kiya aur kaha :

Bhaarat mein har 3 minute ke baad ek aurat bacche ko janam deti hain,

aap bataiye is bhayaank samasya par kis prakaar kaabu paya jaa sakta hain

Santa : Pehle us aurat ko talaasha jaye

Biwi Se Paresan Funny Hindi Jokes & Chutkule

Santa Banta se apni biwi ki tarif karte hue :

Meri biwi meri sari baat manti hai,

Mere kisi kaam ke liye mana nahi karti turant kar deti hain

Banta : Kya baat karte ho biwi or sari baat maan jaye???

Santa : Kal raat maine garam paani manga aur usne turant paani garam kar diya

Banta : Khana khane ke baad tumhe garam paani ki kya jarurt padi thi??

Santa : Baat yeh hain ki main thande paani se bartan nahi dho sakta hu

Pappu And Nurse Funny Jokes In Hindi

Nurse : Aapko 3 bacche hue hai

Pappu : yeh to hona hi tha, filmein hi aisi dekhti thi ,

Dhoom3, Golmaal 3, Raaz 3, Murder 3, Krrish 3

Nurse : Acha hua Dilli 6 mahi dekhi

Pandit Funny Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Pandit ji hawan karte samay ek chamach ghee aag me daalte

Aur ek chamach ghee apne dibbe mein daalte jaa rahe the

Pass me baitha pappu ye sab dekh raha tha aur chillakar bola,,,

Ghritm Choram ,Ghritm Choram…..

Pandit ji pappu ko chup karate hue bole,,

Putr naa kar shoram,naa kar shoram….
Aadha toram,aadha moram
Om swaha, om swaha,om swaha

Boy Girl Funny Hindi Jokes

Exam dete hue …

Boy to girl : 3rd ques batao na

Girl : Nahi aata

Boy : 5th ka ans bata do

Girl : Nahi aata

Boy : 10,11,12 ka

Girl : wo bhi nahi aata

Boy: Agar tere 80% aaye to savdhaan india me

Tere murder ka episode jarur aayega..

Girl : Kutte kaun sa batana hai…

Exam Hall Boy Girl Funny Jokes In Hindi

EXAM HALL
Girl : 5th ques ka ans pata hai?

Pappu : Haan, yeh wala hai dekh lo

Pappu : 9th ques ka ans pata hai?

Girl : Excuse Me, I Have a Boyfriend.

Pappu Ladki Funny Hindi Jokes And Chukule

Pappu ne school principal ki beti ko pataya,
Dono roz phone par khoob baat karte the,

Ladki : Jaanu tum mujhe kitna yaad karte ho?

Pappu : bahut jyada

Ladki : Main roz tumhare sapno mein aati hu na,

Pappu : Nahi

Ladki : kyun?

Pappu : kyunki, main roz hanuman challisa padhkar sota hu

Ladki shocked

Santa Funny Joke – Santa Air Force Me

Santa : Mummy main bade hokar airforce main jaunga

Aur apne ghar ke upar se plane udaunga

Mummy : Mujhe kaise pata chalega ki woh tumhara plane hain?

Santa : Main ghar par bomb gira ke jaunga

Judge Funny Jokes – Santa Ka Mukadama

Pappu driver ban gaya

Judge : Bus khaai mein kaise giri,sari sawari mar gayi??

Pappu : Sahab,mujhe nahi pata,

Judge : kya? Par gaadi to tum hi chala rahe the

Pappu : Haa, par usdin conductor nahi aaya tha,

Toh main ticket banane piche chala gaya,

JUDGE BEHOSH

GST Funny Jokes – GST Ki Fullform

WARNING
5000 ladkiyan sadme se mar gayi aur

2500 koma mein chali gayi

Kyunki kisi ne afwaha faila di ki

GST matlab GIRLS SELFIE TASK

Husband Wife Funny Fight Jokes – LIC Ka Fayada

Husband : Tum aajkal na cigrette peene se rokti ho,na sharab,

Sab sikhaytein khatam si ho gayi hain kyaa..?

Wife : Jab fayda dikh raha ho to sikhaytein band ho jati hain ,,,

Husband : Fayda…? Kya fayda..?

Wife : woh LIC wala aaya tha, bata raha tha ki mujhe kya-kya fayda hoga…

Jija Sali Jokes – Loffer Offer Me Antarr

Jija ki saali : Jiju-jiju aapne socha hain ki loffer or offer mein Kya antar hota hai..?

Jija : Dekho saali sahiba,

Agar aap mujhe pyar karne ko bologi to wo offer kehalayega

Aur main bolu to aap mujhe loffer bologi…

Jija Sali Funny Jokes In Hindi – 5 Saal 6 Bache

Pappu ki saali muskura kar boli pappu se boli :

Jija ji, kya gajab kar rahe ho,5 saal me 6 bacche,kya kar rahe ho aap…?

Pappu : Arey main khud pareshan hu,

Lekin aap hi logo ne to bola tha ki ,,,,

“Beta humari beti ko khaali pet mat rakhna”,

Dekh lo,,,

Ek bhi mahine khaali pet nahi rakha….

Jija Sali Patni Funny Jokes In Hindi

Pappu ki saali apni didi se :

Didi aap jiju ko ‘A.G ‘ kyun bolti ho..?

Didi : Arey main sabhay hu na isliye …

Ab unhe bhare bazar mein abey gadhe (A.G) nahi bol sakti naa

Isliye A G se hi kaam chala leti hu.

Funny Pappu Teacher Jokes In Hindi

Teacher ne pappu se class me bola ..

Teacher : Tum bade murkh ho balak,

main tumhari umar mein achi tarha kitaab padh leti thi

Pappu :Mam aapko acha master mil gaya hoga?

Pappu And Papa Funny Jokes In Hindi

Papa (Pappu se) :

Agar tu phir exam mein fail hua to mujhe papa mat bolna….

Result ke baad….
.
.
Papa : Tumhare result kaisa raha…??
.
.
Pappu : Dimaag kharab mat kar madanlal,

Tune baap kehne ka haq kho diya hai….

Santa Banta Jokes – Patanjali Ka Saman

Santa-Banta se:

Patanjali namak ke packet par padha ki,

Yeh 250 million saal purani himalayan khadak se bana hai….

Aur niche expiry date likh thi
August 2018
Baba bilkul time par khod kar laye

Nahi to yeh himalaya par hi expire ho jata

Sarabi Funny Joke – Santa Theke Pe

Santa ( Banta se ) :
Kal cycle par sharab ki dukaan par gaya ,

Aur old monk ki bottle li,

Banta : Phir ???

Santa : Phir socha ke agar balance bigada to bottle gir kar tut jayegi,

Toh puri bottle wahi pee gaya aur bhagwan kasam bahut sahi kiya,

Kyunki aate samay 6 baar cycle se gira tha…..

Boss Funny Jokes -Pappu Ka Job

Pappu : Sir, kal se main jaldi ghar chala jaunga

Boss : Kyun???

Pappu : Ek naukri se ghar nahi chalta,

Raat ko ricksaw chalaunga

Boss : Kabhi bhuk lage to mere pass aa jana,

Main bhi raat ko paw-bhaaji ka thela lagata hu…

Pappu Best Hindi Jokes – Pappu ki Shadi

Papa (Pappu se) : Beta agar sasural wale scooter de to car mangna,

Dukaan de to ghar mangna,

Cooler de to AC mangn

Pappu (papa se) : Agar wo ladki de to kya uski maa mangu

Santa Banta Best Ever Joke IN Hindi

Santa (Banta se) : Tumhe pata hain ki ek ladki ko bina hathiyaar kaise maar sakte hai

Banta : kaise???

Santa : Usey ek khoobsurat dress do,

Mehnga Gehna (jewellery) do,

Bahut mehnge makeup ka samaan do,

Jab Sajh-Dhaj kar tyaar ho jaye to bina aaine wale kisi kamre mein band kar do

Ladki tadap-tadap kar mar jayegi

Haryanvi Funny Jokes – Chinese Lugai

Ek Haryanvi aadmi ne chinese aurat se shaadi ki,

Unka judwa baccha hua, unhone unka naam rakha

Jo- Hoyo

So-Hoyo

Agle saal unka ek aur baccha hua,,,unhone uska naam rakha…

Yo-ki-hoyo

All Santa Banta Funny Jokes Collection

Ek baar Santa ne ghadi banane wale se pucha :

” Is ghadi ko thik karne ka kya loge”??
Ghadiwala : Jitni keemat hai, uska aadha de dena

Agle din jab ghadiwale ne jab santa se apni mehnatana manga to

Santa ne use do thappad maar diye ….

Ghadiwala : yeh kya kiya tumne??

Santa : Kuch nahi, jab maine ghadi lene ki zidd ki thi,

To mere papa ne mujhe 4 thappad maare the

Damad Saas Funny Jokes In Hindi

Damad 15 din se sasural mein tha

Saas : Damad ji, wapas kab ja rahe ho??

Damad : kyu???

Saas : Bahut din ho gaye na, isiliye puch rahi hu

Damad : Aapki beti to 6-6 mahine mere yaha rehti hai

Saas : woh to waha byahi hai

Damad : Aur main kya yaha apharan karke laya gaya hu

Doctor Marij Funny Jokes In Hindi

Marij : Doctor sahab main garib aadmi hoon aapki fees nahi de sakta,

Agar aapne mera ilaaj muft main kar diya
To main kabhi aapka kaam muft mein kar dunga

Doctor : Tum kya karte ho ?

Marij : Ji, Samshaan ghaat par laashe jalata hoon …

Pappu Best Funny Joke Ever In Hindi

Paapu apne dost se : Meri saas ko kutte ne kaat liya

Dost : yeh to bahut bura hua

Pappu : Ha, bechara kutta tadap-tadap kar mar gaya

Badmash Pappu Funny Hindi Jokes

Pappu ka dost pappu se : Aur bhai tumhari biwi ke ghutne ka dard thik hua ya nahi??

Pappu : Haa yaar doctor ko dikhate hi thik ho gaya

Dost ne hairani se pucha : Acha, kaunsi dawa se??

Pappu : Dawa wagera kuch nahi ,

Bas doctor ne bataya ki yeh budhape ki nishaani hai

Aur usdin ke baad usne dard ki sikhayat hi nahi ki

Alia Bhatt Varun Dhawan Funny Jokes In Hindi

Alia Bhatt (Varun Dawan se ): Aaj maine “paani” ko ullu banaya

Varun Dhawan : Paani ko ullu?? Woh kaise??

Alia Bhatt : Dekh , Subha maine paani garam kiya

Aur phir thande paani se naha liya

Top Pappu Funny Hindi Jokes

Sardar (pappu se) : Tum ek dum se itne ameer kaise ban gaye??

Pappu : Bas apni bhulne ki bimaari ki wajah se

Sardar : woh kaise????

Pappu : wo mere chacha ji ko heart attack aaya tha,

Us samay main doctor ka number bhul gaya aur bas main ameer ban gaya..

All Pappu Funny Jokes In Hindi

Pappu ko jab doctor behoshi ka injection dene lage to woh bola, ek minute doctor sahab

Doctor foran se ruk gaya

Pappu ne apni pocket se purse nikala

Yeh dekhkar doctor bole : “Arey bhai, fees ki koi jaldi nahi hai”

Pappu : fees ki mujhe bhi jaldi nahi hai, main to apne paise gin raha tha

Best Sardar Funny Jokes In Hindi

Sardar ne airlines ke office me phone kiya,
Receptionist ne phone uthaya…….

Sardar : Chandigarh se mumbai tak kitni der ka safar hai??

Receptionist : Ek minute sir

Sardar ne phone kaat diya aur badbadaya ” Pee kar baithi hai ,kameeni”

Baba Funny Jokes In Hindi – Bina Ticket

Railway ticket checker baba ji se : Baba, kaha jaoge??

Baba : jaha Ram ka janam hua tha

Ticket checker : Ticket dikhao??

Baba : Nahi hai baccha

Ticket checker : To chalo….

Baba : kaha…???

Ticket checker : jaha krishan ka janam hua th..

Pati Patni Funny Jokes In Hindi – Patni Ka Dar

Ek baar Santa sharab pee kar ghar aaya to

Patni ki daant se bachne ke liye ek kitaab kholkar padhne ka natak karne laga

Patni : Aaj phir pee kar aaye ho????

Santa : Na,nahi to

Patni : To phir yeh ulti kitab kyu padh rahe ho??

Best Pappu Funny Jokes In Hindi – Baap Ki Maar

Pappu ghar der se lauta

Maa : kaha tha??

Pappu : Emotional film dekhne gaya tha, “maa ka pyar ”

Maa : Ab andar jaakar action film dekh “Baap ki maar”

Baba Funny Jokes In Hindi – Bina Ticket

Railway ticket checker baba ji se : Baba, kaha jaoge??

Baba : jaha Ram ka janam hua tha

Ticket checker : Ticket dikhao??

Baba : Nahi hai baccha

Ticket checker : To chalo….

Baba : kaha…???

Ticket checker : jaha krishan ka janam hua th..

Pati Patni Funny Jokes In Hindi – Patni Ka Dar

Ek baar Santa sharab pee kar ghar aaya to

Patni ki daant se bachne ke liye ek kitaab kholkar padhne ka natak karne laga

Patni : Aaj phir pee kar aaye ho????

Santa : Na,nahi to

Patni : To phir yeh ulti kitab kyu padh rahe ho??

Husband Wife Party Me – Best Hindi Jokes

Husband wife dance party me.

Wife: Aaj to mai stage par aag laga dungi.

Husband: Par machis ti sath me laye hi nahi.

Wife: Are mera matlab hai, aaj mai jordar dance karungi.

Husband: Ha……….. fir to log hi stage par aag laga dange.

Pappu Ki Pad Nikl Gayi – Pappu Funny Hindi Jokes

Ek din pappu ne mombati bujhane ke liye jaise hi fuk mari,

Uski pad nikal gayi.

Usne wapas fuk mari to fir se pad nikal gayi,

Is bat par pappu ko ghusha aa gaya

Aur wo piche ghum kar bola………

Le sale tu hi bujha le……….!!!

Jija Sali Ke Hindi Funny Jokes – Jija Ka Dost

Hmare desh ke pradhan mantri ne pregnant aurto ki madad

Ke liye 6000 rupee dene ka ailan kiya.

..

Udhar gav me shadi ke samye…..

Sali: Jija ji humne aapke jute chhipa diye hai

Jija: Ab jute wapis dedo.

Sali: Nahi, pehle mujhe 3000 rupee do

Jija ka dost: Tum kaho to tumhe sarkar se 6000 rupee dilwadu.

Husband Wife Ke Chutkule – Funny Hindi Jokes

Wife: Aji suniye , hamare suhag rat wale din,

Jab aapne pahli bar mera ghunghat uthaya tha,

To aapko kaisa laga tha.

Husband: Maa kasam sach batau to,

Agar usdin mujhe hanuman chalisha yad na hota,

To mai mar hi jata.

Pati Ne Ki Prarthana – Pati Patni Hihdi Jokes

Pati apni patni se: Rooj subha jab meri aakh khulti hai

To mai bhagwan se prarthana karta hu

Ki tumhare jaisi biwi sabko de.

Patni khush hokar boli: Acha……….

Pati: Ha…….. aakhir mai hi ekla dukhi kyu rahu.

Bhagwan Ke Bhakto Ki Najar – Hindi Jokes

Kya aapne kabhi socha hai

Ki mandir me aadmi hi

Pujari kyu hote hai.

..

..

..

Kyuki bhakto ki najar bhagwan

Se bhatke na.

Shaitan ladke Ki Behen – Maa Beta Hindi Jokes

Beta apni ma se puchata hai,

Ma aapne to bola tha meri choti behen pari hai.

Maa: Ha beta wo pari hi to hai.

Beta: Lekin maine jab use balkni se

Niche feka to wo udhi hi nahi.

Pati Patni Ke Chutkule – Funny Hindi Jokes

Pati apni patni se: Agar tum mar gayi to

Mai pagal ho jaunga.

Patni: Dusri shadi to nahi karoge.

Pati: Ab is pagal ka kya bhrosa……

Kuch bhi kar sakta hai.

Husband Ki Naraj Wife – Hindi Jokes

Husband apni naraj wife ko phone karta hai.

Sasuma: Ab wo tumhare ghar kabhi nahi aayegi

Tumhe ek bat samajh nahi aati, kyu bar-bar phone

Karke use paresan karte ho.

Husband: Sun kar acha lagta hai isliye…………..

Pati Ne Ki Prarthana – Pati Patni Hihdi Jokes

Pati apni patni se: Rooj subha jab meri aakh khulti hai

To mai bhagwan se prarthana karta hu

Ki tumhare jaisi biwi sabko de.

Patni khush hokar boli: Acha……….

Pati: Ha…….. aakhir mai hi ekla dukhi kyu rahu.

Bhagwan Ke Bhakto Ki Najar – Hindi Jokes

Kya aapne kabhi socha hai

Ki mandir me aadmi hi

Pujari kyu hote hai.

..

..

..

Kyuki bhakto ki najar bhagwan

Se bhatke na.

Shaitan ladke Ki Behen – Maa Beta Hindi Jokes

Beta apni ma se puchata hai,

Ma aapne to bola tha meri choti behen pari hai.

Maa: Ha beta wo pari hi to hai.

Beta: Lekin maine jab use balkni se

Niche feka to wo udhi hi nahi.

Pati Patni Ke Chutkule – Funny Hindi Jokes

Pati apni patni se: Agar tum mar gayi to

Mai pagal ho jaunga.

Patni: Dusri shadi to nahi karoge.

Pati: Ab is pagal ka kya bhrosa……

Kuch bhi kar sakta hai.

Pappu Ki Pappu – Pappu Ke Hindi Jokes

Pappu apne dost se………….

Sunata hu tumhe apne school ki ek pramkahani,

Ek thi toper jo % ki thi rani,

Fir kya hua……….???

Humne pata li aur fail hogai maharani.

Bhikhari Ki Girlfriend – Hindi Jokes And Chutkule

Ek bhikhari: 10 rupee dedo malik,

Apni girlfriend ko call karna hai.

Malik ki girlfriend: Dekho, bhikhari bhi apni

Girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.

Bhikhari: Aisi bat nahi hai malkin, use

Pyar karne ke bad hi mai bhikhari bana hu.

Teacher Student Jokes – Funny Hindi Jokes

Adhayapak marwadi bache se: Chalo,

Kabir ka doha sunao.

Bacha: ……..”Kabro rahiyo bawro, doha diyo banaye

Khud to gayo khisak,”mnai dio pfasaye.

Patni Se Talaq , Wife Devoice Pappu Funny Joke

Pappu Apne Dost se puchata hai

Pappu : Yeh arrange marriage mein talaq kam kyun hote hain?

Pappu Ka Dost : Yaar, jo apni marji se shaadi nahi kar sakta,
Woh sala talaq kya khaak lega….

Shardar Hindi Funny Jokes – Sardar Train Me

Train mein bahut bheed thi aur sardar tha ki baar-baar toilet jaa raha tha,

Uske baar-baar aane jane se dusre yatriyo ko pareshaani ho rahi thi,

Ek yatri bola : yaar, tumhe chain nahi hai kya…?

Sardar badi dard bhari awaz mein bola :
.

.
Hain to sahi, par khul nahi rahi hain.

Sardar Hindi Funny Jokes – Sardar Train Me

Train mein bahut bheed thi aur sardar tha ki baar-baar toilet jaa raha tha,

Uske baar-baar aane jane se dusre yatriyo ko pareshaani ho rahi thi,

Ek yatri bola : yaar, tumhe chain nahi hai kya…?

Sardar badi dard bhari awaz mein bola :
.

.
Hain to sahi, par khul nahi rahi hain.

Pappu Funny Hindi Jokes – Pappu Ka Dimag

Pappu ( Dukaandaar se )- Murgaa kaise diya hain.

Dukaandaar ( pappu se ) – 100Rs, 50Rs aur 20Rs….

Pappu – 20Rs ka…itna sasta kyun..?

Dukaandaar – sahab ise aids hain

Pappu -De do khana hain,shaadi thodi hi karni hain.

Pappu Best Hindi Jokes – Pappu Ka Operation

Sardar : Tum operation karaye bina hi hospital se kyun bhaag gaye..?

Pappu : Nurse baar-baar keh rahi thi ki daro mat himmat rakho, kuch nahi hoga…

Yeh to bas ek chota sa operation hain

Sardar : To isme darne wali konsi baat hain..?
Sahi to keh rahi thi

Pappu : saale, wo mujhe nahi doctor se keh rahi thi

Alia Bhatt KBC Me – Funny Hindi Jokes

Alia bhatt se KBC me pucha gaya sawal.

Q. Inme se kaun sabse bada hai?

A. Peanut                  B. An elephant

C. The moon            C. A kettle

Alia bhatt: Iska jawab B. hai.  An elephant.

Santa Gaya Sasural – Santa Banta Hindi Jokes

Santa ek din apne sasural gaya aur

Waha jakar chicken khane ka plan bnaya

Santa: Sale sahab murge ki tang kaha hai.

Sala: Jijaji murga to langra tha

Santa: Aur dil yani klegi

Sala: Dil to murgi le gai.

Santa: Aur dimag

Sala: Are jiju wo shadi- suda tha na

To dimag kaise hoga.

Rajinikant Ki Dee's – Mithi Kheer Hindi Jokes

Rajinikant ne ek bar khana bnane ki

championship hissa liya.

..

..

Beshak unko to jitna hi tha.

Unhone jitne ke liye dish bnai.!!!

Lal mirch ki mithi kheer………..!

Santa Banta Ke Chutkule – Funny Hindi Jokes

Santa aapne mata pita ke sath

Ek hotel me khana khane gya.

waha baitha ek aadmi cigarette pi raha tha

Santa: Bhai shahab hum apne mata pita ke

Sath aaye hai, aap bahar jakar cigarette pilo.

Aadmi: To mai kya karu.

Santa: Abe sale, to mera bhi man kar raha hai

Cigarette pine ka.

Maa Beta Pankhe Ke Niche – Hindi Jokes

Maa aur bacha ghar me baith kar bate

Kar rahe the tabhi.

Maa: Beta ye pankha itna aawaj kyu kar

Raha hai, kahi gir na jaye.

Bacha: Ye nahi girega maa.

Maa: Kaise.

Bacha: Kyuki jo garajte hai wo braste nahi

Garajti hui chappal aai aur majh par brash gai.

Chaudhari Gaya Ladki Dekhne – Best Hindi Jokes

Ek din ek chaudhri apne bate ke liye ladki dekhne gaya.

Chaudhri ko ladki bilkul pasand nahi aai, kyuki ki

Ladki bahut jayada kali thi.

Ladki ka baap: Chaudhari shahab ladki pasand karlo,

Dahej me car dedege.

Chaudhari: Agar ye kala jamun mere ghar aa gaya to

Agli pidhi me hme apni ladki byahne ke liye helicopter deni padegi.

Nasamjh Alia Bhatt – Bollywood Hindi Jokes

Alia bhatt aur rahul gandhi abhi tak ye nahi

Samajh pa rahe hai .

Ki jab salman khan ke pass koi

Khet hi nahi hai to wo do din

Ke liye bail lekar kya krege.

Teacher And Student – Pappu Hindi Jokes

Teacher: Bacho batao, agar hamari prithvi se

Koi grah takra jaye to kya hoga.

Pappu: Sir ji, tann ki aawaj aaye gi.

Teacher: Wo kaise,

Pappu: Kyuki ………ye duniya pitall di.

Pappu Gaya Bajar – Pappu Fuuny Hindi Jokes

Pappu bajar me kela khridne gaya.

Pappu: Ye kela kitne ka hai bhai.

Dukandar: Ek kela 5 rupee ka hai.

Pappu: Muajhe 2 rupee me dedo.

Dukandar: 2 rupee me to iska chhilk

Hi dunga.

Pappu:Ye le 3 rupee, sirf kela dede.

Dahej Ke Liye Taucher – Hindi Funny Jokes

Satyamev jayate………..

Ek aurat: Mere sasural wale mujhe

Dahej ke liye taucher karte hai.

Aamir khan: Kaise satate hai.

Aurat: we mujhe kursi se bandh kar

Ram gopal varma ki aag film dikhate hai.

Teacher Student Jokes – Teacher Best Hindi Jokes

Golu aur monu do bhai ek hi class me padhte the.

Ek din teacher ne unka test liya.

Teacher: Tum dono ne apne papa ka

Nam alag-alag kyo likha hai.

Dono bhai: madam ji agar hum dono

Apne papa ka ek hi nam likhte to aap

Bolti tum dono ne cheating ki hai.

Surya Grahan Ki Paribhasha – Rajinikanth Hindi Jokes

Surya grahan lagne ki paribhasha.

Rajinikanth  jab surya ko ghur kar dekhte hai

To surya darke chand ke piche chhip jata hai.

Ise hi surya grahan ki paribnasha kahte hai.

Rajinikanth Ka Caller Tune – Alion hindi jokes

Pahli bar rajinikant ne apne mobile phone

Me caller tune larya, tabhi isse presan hokar

Ek alion ko dharti par aana pada.

Wo bola bhai ji aap apna caller tune hata lo

Kal mera exam hai aur mai iski wajah

Se padh nahi pa raha hu.

Rajinikant Aur Deepika – Ek Chutaki Hindi Jokes

Agar om santi om film me shahrukh khan

Ki jgah rajinikant hote to kya hota.

Deepika: Ek chutki sindur ki kimat tum kya

Jano rajinikant babu.

Rajinikant: o.00004373495 rupee per gram.

Rajinikant se panga bahut mehanga padega.

Kabristan Me Rajinikant – Do Bhut Hindi Jokes

Kali anderi drawani si raat me

Kabristan ke gat ke pas kale kapdo

Me lipte do bhut aapas me bate kar rahe the.

Pahla bhut dusre bhut se, tu dar mat yaar

Ye sab tere dimag ka waham hai ye rajinikant- wajinikant

Kuch nahi hota.

Rajinikant Ki Dee's – Mithi Kheer Hindi Jokes

Rajinikant ne ek bar khana bnane ki

championship hissa liya.

..

..

Beshak unko to jitna hi tha.

Unhone jitne ke liye dish bnai.!!!

Lal mirch ki mithi kheer………..!

Santa Banta Ke Chutkule – Funny Hindi Jokes

Santa aapne mata pita ke sath

Ek hotel me khana khane gya.

waha baitha ek aadmi cigarette pi raha tha

Santa: Bhai shahab hum apne mata pita ke

Sath aaye hai, aap bahar jakar cigarette pilo.

Aadmi: To mai kya karu.

Santa: Abe sale, to mera bhi man kar raha hai

Cigarette pine ka.

Chaudhari Gaya Ladki Dekhne – Best Hindi Jokes

Ek din ek chaudhri apne bate ke liye ladki dekhne gaya.

Chaudhri ko ladki bilkul pasand nahi aai, kyuki ki

Ladki bahut jayada kali thi.

Ladki ka baap: Chaudhari shahab ladki pasand karlo,

Dahej me car dedege.

Chaudhari: Agar ye kala jamun mere ghar aa gaya to

Agli pidhi me hme apni ladki byahne ke liye helicopter deni padegi.

Bahu Gai Kicheten Me – Saas Bahu Hindi Jokes

Ek nai nai-nweli dulhan pahali bar

kitchen me gai, aur recipe ki book me se

Dekh kar khana bna rahi thi.

Uski saas bajar se ghar aai, frij kholte hi

Chillai, aur boli bahu ye mindir ka ghanta

Frij me kyu rakha hai.

Bahu: Majhi wo kitab me likha tha sabhi chijo ko milane

Ke bad 1 ghanta frij me rakh de.

Pappu Shadi Karne Chala – Pappu Hindi Jokes

Pappu shadi karne ke liye ladki dekhne gaya

Pappu ne socha ladki se ‘english’ me bat karta hu

Pappu ladki se: English chalegi na…………?

Ladki: Sharmate huy boli ji, agar namkin aur

Pkaure sath me ho to desi bhi chalegi.

Shahrukh Public Tolet Me – Bollywood Hindi Jokes

Shahrukh khan public tolet se pura bhig

kar bahar nikla.

To uske dost ne pucha tu to tolet gaya tha to

Bhing kar kyo aaya.

Shahrukh khan: mai to tolet hi gaya tha

Tabhi ek aadmi bola, dekho……dekho..

Shahrukh aur sabhi meri traf ghum gaye.

Boyfriend Girlfriend – Bollywood Hindi Jokes

Boyfriend: Maine kal ek movie dekhi

Use dekh kar mujhe teri yad aagai………..

Girlfriend: Muje bhi tumhari yad aati hai

Waise kaun si movie thi.

Boyfriend: Ek thi dayan.

Matchar Ka Bacha – Matchar Funny Hindi Jokes

Ek ladki ghar me baith kar chaye pi rahi thi

Tabhi uske muh me ek matchar chala gya.

Thori der bad matchar ka baap aa kar ladki ke kan

Me kuuch fus-fusaya jise suankar ladki behos ho gayi.

..

..

Matchar ne bola,

Tumhare pet me mera bacha hai.

Santa Aur Matchar – Matchar Very Funny Hindi Jokes

Raat ko sote samye santa ko ek matchar ne kat liya

Santa raat bhar chappal lekar uske piche daurta raha

Lekin matchar ko nahi mar paya,

Aisha karte karte subah ho gai.

Santa: Mai ise mar to nahi paya lekin is bat ki

Khushi hai, ki maine bhi ise raat bhar sone nahi diya.

Ladki Aur Teacher Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Teacher ladki se: Aaj tum itni late se kyo aa rahi ho

Ladki: Sir, ek ladka mera picha kar raha tha

Teacher: Tab to tume au jaldi aana chahiyae tha

Ladki: Sir ji, wo kamina dhire dhire chal raha tha

Pati Patni Bejati Jokes Hindi Funny Chutkule

Party me patni ko mila ek aadmi.

wife: aji suno, jo aadmi daru pi kai

nach raha hai na use maine 5 sal pahle

reject kar diya tha.

Husbend: sala kitna kismat wala hai,

abhi tak celebrate kar raha hai.

Laluji Aur Rahul Gandhi – Netaji Hindi Jokes

Rahul gandhi stage par bhasan de rahe the

Tabhi waha lalu yadav ji bhi pahuche

Laluji: Are burbak, band karo E bhasan

Rahul gandhi: Ka hua kaka bura man gye ka

Laluji: Ek stage par doi comedian

Ek sathe comedy nahi kar sakt hai.

Santa Aur Matchar – Matchar Very Funny Hindi Jokes

Raat ko sote samye santa ko ek matchar ne kat liya

Santa raat bhar chappal lekar uske piche daurta raha

Lekin matchar ko nahi mar paya,

Aisha karte karte subah ho gai.

Santa: Mai ise mar to nahi paya lekin is bat ki

Khushi hai, ki maine bhi ise raat bhar sone nahi diya.

Ladki Aur Teacher Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Teacher ladki se: Aaj tum itni late se kyo aa rahi ho

Ladki: Sir, ek ladka mera picha kar raha tha

Teacher: Tab to tume au jaldi aana chahiyae tha

Ladki: Sir ji, wo kamina dhire dhire chal raha tha

Pati Patni Bejati Jokes Hindi Funny Chutkule

Party me patni ko mila ek aadmi.

wife: aji suno, jo aadmi daru pi kai

nach raha hai na use maine 5 sal pahle

reject kar diya tha.

Husbend: sala kitna kismat wala hai,

abhi tak celebrate kar raha hai.

Laluji Aur Rahul Gandhi – Netaji Hindi Jokes

Rahul gandhi stage par bhasan de rahe the

Tabhi waha lalu yadav ji bhi pahuche

Laluji: Are burbak, band karo E bhasan

Rahul gandhi: Ka hua kaka bura man gye ka

Laluji: Ek stage par doi comedian

Ek sathe comedy nahi kar sakt hai.

Sas Aur Bahu Me Ladai Sas Bahu Hindi Jokes

Ek sas ne apni nai – naweli bahu ko

Ghar ke niyam btate hua kaha.

Dekh bahu, mai is ghar ki griah mantri hu

Aur sath hi vit mantralea bhi dekhti hu.

..

tumhare sasur videsh mantri hai ghar ke.

..

Tumhara pati aur mera beta aapurti mantri hai.

..

Tumhari nanad aur meri beti yojna mantri hai

..

Tum btao tum kaun sa wibhag lena pasand krogi.

..

Bahu bina kisi hichkichahat ke boli

Mai to vipaksh me baithugi.

Sakki Biwi Funny Jokes Pati Patni Chutkule

Pappu ko ek aanjan number se phone aaya.

Ladki: Hello, kya aa ki shadi ho chuki hai

Pappu: Ji nahi, par aap kaun ho aue

Kaha se bol rahi ho.

Ladki: mai teri bibi hu kutte, aur tere

Ghar se bol rahi hu.

Ladki Aur Budha Adami Funny Jokes Chutkule

Ek budha aadmiek ladki se takraya

Budha: Sorry…….

Ladki: Bewkufe dekh kar nahi

Chal sakte kya.

Tabhi ek ladka us ladki se takraya

Ladka:Sorry……

Ladki: Koi bat nahi….

Budha: Meri ‘sorry’ ki spelling glat thi kya.

Kanjus Husband Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Kanjus husband apni wife se: Mai jab sut pahan kar bajar

Jata hu to sabji wala mujhe mhangi sabji deta hai,

Aur jab mai maila kurta pijama pahan kar jata hu to sasti

Sabji deta hai.

Wife: Agli bar se ek ktora lekar jaya karo

Sabji free me mil jayegi…….

Kanjus Papa Funny Jokes And Hindi Chutkule

Ek kanjus pita ka beta apni girlfriend se milne gya.

Jab wo ghar aaya to pita ne pucha: Kitne paise urakar aaya hai

Beta: Sirf 200 rupee.

Kanjus pita yah sun kar bahut naraj ho gya.

Beta: Mai kya karta uske pas bas itne hi the.

Smart Husband Wife Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Wife apne husband se: Aaj maine aapko kam wali

Bai ke sath cinema jate dekha tha.

Pati ka smart answer: Janu, mai kya karta

Aaj kal family ke sath dekhne layak picture banti kaha hai.

Husband Wife Talak Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Husband: Apni patni se tang aakar cort

Gya, talak  lene ke liye.

jaj sahab: Tumhe talak kyo chahiye

Husband: Mai ise bahut dukhi hu…..

Wife: Bas inahe chor kar, sara

mohala khus hai.

Boss Aur Employee Hindi Jokes Funny Chutkule

Boss ne ek ladke ko girls hostal

Me naukri par rakha.

Lagbhag 2 mahine bad malik ne

Ladke ko bulaya, aur bola tum apni

tankhwa lene kyo nahi aaye.

Ladka: Kya, is kam ke liye paise bhi milte hai.

Ladki Aur Dukandar Hindi Jokes Funny Chutkule

Ek kanjus ladki dukan gyi aur

Dukandar se boli bhaiya aaisa sabun do

Jo kam se kam ghise aur jise lagane se

Chehre par lali aa jaye.

Dukandar: chootu madam ko ek

iet ka tukra de de.

Pati Patni Aur Wo Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Pati apni patni se: Santi ko bulao jra

Patni:Kaun, wo apni naukrani

Pati:Ha wahi

Patni: Wo kyo…..

Pati: Mujhe doctor ne bola hai ki

Dard ki goli lo aur, santi ke sath sojao.

Neta Ji Funny Jokes Rajniti Hindi Chutkule

Netaji Ek manch ki uper”aatmhatya” par bhasan de rahe the

Neta: Aatmhatya krna bahut bada pap hat, kayrta hai

Aur bahut bada gunah hai……..

Ise acha to insan apne aap ko goli mar le

Par aatmhatya na kare.

Kanjus Husband Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Kanjus husband apni wife se: Mai jab sut pahan kar bajar

Jata hu to sabji wala mujhe mhangi sabji deta hai,

Aur jab mai maila kurta pijama pahan kar jata hu to sasti

Sabji deta hai.

Wife: Agli bar se ek ktora lekar jaya karo

Sabji free me mil jayegi…….

Santa Banta Comedy Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Santa Banta se: Aur kya chal raha hai bhai life me

Banta: ghfhvrtgbfvvcxnbfg….

Santa: Kya, kuch samajh nahi aaya

Banta: Bas yhi chal raha hai

Best Husband Wife Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Husband: Tumne mujhme aisha kya dekh kar

sadi karne ka faisla kar liya…

Wife: Ji, maine apni kharki se aapko ek -doo bar

Bartan manjte aur kpde dhote dekha tha.

Top Doctor Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Ek America ka doctor bharat aaya

Wah bus stand ke pas ek kitab ki dukan par

Kitab dekh raha tha tabhi use heart attack aagya

Us 20 rupee ki kitab ka nam tha

“30 din me Doctor kaise bne.”

Pappu Aur Teacher Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Pappu school me der se pahucha to uski

Teacher ne puchha kaha the ab tak…

Pappu: Mam wo ek aadmi ka hazar ka note kho gya tha

Teacher: To tum kya hazar ka note dundhne me uski madad ka rahe the

Pappu: nahi mam mai to uske jane ka intjar kar raha tha kyoki

Note mere pair ke niche tha.

Santa Banta Comedy Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Santa Banta se: Aur kya chal raha hai bhai life me

Banta: ghfhvrtgbfvvcxnbfg….

Santa: Kya, kuch samajh nahi aaya

Banta: Bas yhi chal raha hai

Best Husband Wife Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Husband: Tumne mujhme aisha kya dekh kar

sadi karne ka faisla kar liya…

Wife: Ji, maine apni kharki se aapko ek -doo bar

Bartan manjte aur kpde dhote dekha tha.

Top Doctor Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Ek America ka doctor bharat aaya

Wah bus stand ke pas ek kitab ki dukan par

Kitab dekh raha tha tabhi use heart attack aagya

Us 20 rupee ki kitab ka nam tha

“30 din me Doctor kaise bne.”

Pappu Aur Teacher Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Pappu school me der se pahucha to uski

Teacher ne puchha kaha the ab tak…

Pappu: Mam wo ek aadmi ka hazar ka note kho gya tha

Teacher: To tum kya hazar ka note dundhne me uski madad ka rahe the

Pappu: nahi mam mai to uske jane ka intjar kar raha tha kyoki

Note mere pair ke niche tha.

Best Class Teacher Insult Jokes Funny Chutkule

Ek teacher bacho se sawal puchhte huye….

Teacher: Bacho, ek traf paisa aur dusri traf dimag

To tum kya chunoge ?

Student: Mam, paisa…

Teacher: Galat jawab, mai to dimag chunti.

Student: Mam, jiske pas jis chij ki kami hoti hai wo wahi chunta hai.

School Madam And Student Funny Jokes In Hindi

Kuch bache ek ladki ko ghisat kar school le ja rahe the tabhi

Ek aadmi na kaha kyo ghisat rahe ho

Jab ise school jana hoga to yah khud chali jayegi

Student: Are uncle ye student nahi hai

hamari teacher hai, kabhi school he nahi aati.

Funny Lalu Yadav Bhojpuri Jokes Hindi Chutkule

English sikhne ke liye laluji 1 mahine obama ke sath rahe

Ek din obama ne laluji ko phone kiya.

Laluji: Who is speeking.

Obama: Are! sasura hum obama bol raha hu

phchana nahi ka…….

Chiti Aur Hathi Funny Hindi Jokes Chutkule

Ek din ek chiti apna

Ek pair aage kar ke khadi thi.

Tabhi dusre chiti ne pucha kyo bhai

aaise kyo khade ho.

pahli chiti: Are sala, abhi hathi aane wala hai

Use langri fasaunga.

Girlfriend Se Kiss – Santa Funny Hindi Joke

Teacher : Kal school kyu nahi aaye the..

Santa : Girlfriend se milne gaya tha..

Teacher : Kiss liye ?

Santa : Yes sir !!

Teacher : Maine pucha kiss liye ?

Santa : ha sir bahut sare liye ..

Naughty boy ki girlfriend – funny hindi joke sms

Boy :

Mummy papa ghar pe nahi hai,

Aajao Masti karege..

Girl :

Rahne de tu harami,

Pichli bar aai thi to tune bartan dhulwaye the mujhse..

Drunk And Drive Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Santa banta daru pikar gari chala rahe the

Banta: chilate huwe bola aage diwar hai,diwar hai aage…….

Tabhi gari diwar me ghus gayi, agle din dono hospital me

Banta: Mai jab bol raha tha ki age diwar hai to tune suna kyo nahi

Santa: abe bevdhe sale, gari to tu chala raha tha.

Dadi Funny Jokes Grand Mother Hindi Chutkule

Chintu: Dadi kya aap te… bol sakti ho

Dadi: Te…

Chintu: Dadi ek bar fir bol kar dikhao

Dadi: Te… le bol diya

Chintu: Dadi ek bar niche jakar mummy ko te… bolna

Dadi: Wo kyo re

Chintu: mummy niche apni saheliyo se bol rahi hai pata nahi budhiya kab te… bolegi

Boy Girl Party Jokes Ladka Ladki Funny Jokes

Sundar see ladki ek party me ek ladke ke pass aai

Ladki: Suniye ji mere ek hath me pani hai aur dusre me palet, kya aap mere chehre se ek chij hata doge

Ladka: Ha kyo nahi ,batao kya hatana hai

Ladki: Kute jaisee apni najr

Bank And Customer Funny Jokes Hindi Chutkule

Raju: Apne paise bank me jma karne gya

Banker: Tumhare sare note nakli hai

Raju: Tumhe kya karna hai , jma to mere ‘account’ me karne hai.

Pappu Girlfriend Ke Gali Me – Funny Hindi Joke

Pappu apni girlfriend se bolta hai

Pappu : Kal hum dusari jagah milege..

Girlfriend : kyu ?

Pappu : Tumhare gali ke bache kutte piche laga dete hai..

Aur bolte hai jab pyar kiya to darna kya..

Gf Bf Ki Baate – Funny Hindi Joke

Ek girlfriend apne boyfriend se puchti hai..

Gf : Ek saadi suda ladke aur saadi suda ladki me kya farak hai..

Bf : Agar mangal sutra latka ho to ladki saadi suda hai..

Aur Ladke ka muh latka ho to ladka saadi suda hai..

Girlfriend Se Kiss – Santa Funny Hindi Joke

Teacher : Kal school kyu nahi aaye the..

Santa : Girlfriend se milne gaya tha..

Teacher : Kiss liye ?

Santa : Yes sir !!

Teacher : Maine pucha kiss liye ?

Santa : ha sir bahut sare liye ..

Naughty boy ki girlfriend – funny hindi joke sms

Boy :

Mummy papa ghar pe nahi hai,

Aajao Masti karege..

Girl :

Rahne de tu harami,

Pichli bar aai thi to tune bartan dhulwaye the mujhse..

Man will be Man – funny hindi joke sms

Ek aadami ki kadi tapasaya ke bad ek afsara prakat hue..

Afsara : Mai tumhari 3 ikkcha puri karu gi..

Ek to mujhe pata hai baki ke 2 batado..

Checkup ladki ka -Girl funny hindi joke

Ek ladki apni maa ke shath Doctor ke paas checkup karane gai

Girl : Docter Sahat checkup karana hai..

Doctor : Kapde utar ke parde ke piche let jao..

Girl : Ji Mujhe nahi meri maa ko checkUp karana hai..

Doctor : Ohhh… Mata ji muh kholiye…

Saitan tote – funny hindi joke

Ek pinjre me kuch tote ek toti ko pareshan kar rahe the..

Jabki Bagal ke pinre me 2 tote the,

Ek puja kar raha tha ek namaj padh raha tha,

Aur ek namaj padh raha tha..

Malik ne socha ki ye tote kitne sarif hai..

Usne toti ko un dono ke pinjare me dal deta hai..

.

.

Dalne le bad..

Puja karne wala tota : Miya utho duwa kabul ho gai..

Patni hui gayab – Pati patni sms joke hindi

Ek pati copy pe guna bhag kar raha tha..

Aur Jor Jor se has raha tha..

Ek aadami ne usse pucha…

“Bhai sahab itna kyu has rahe hai ”

Pati : Meri wife Dieting pe hai..

Pichle hapte usne 5 kilo kam kiya..

Adami : To isme hasne wali kya bat hai..

Pati : Abhi maine hisab lagaya ki..

Agle 5 mahine me meri biwi puri tarah gayab ho jayegi..

Boss ki biwi – Funny hindi joke sms

Santa ne boss ko sms bheja :

“Mujhe aaj jukham hai , islie aaj no kam”

Boss : “Mujhe jab bukhar hota hai to mai apni biwi kiss kar leta hu,

Tum bhi yahi try karo..”

Thodi der bad santa ka fir sms aaya :

“Sir mai kam kar sakta hu,

Aap ki biwi acha kiss karti hai “

Alia Bhatt Aur Baraf – Funny SMS Joke Hindi

Alia bhatt ek paraf ka tukda hath pe leke

Gaur se dekh rahi thi

Varun ne puch :

“Aisa kya dekh rahi ho ”

Alia Bhatt : “Dekh rahi hu ki leak kaha se ho raha hai..”

Bacha Kidnap – Sardar HIndi Joke

Ek sardar me ek chote bache ko kidnap kiya

Aur bache ko bola

” Ja aapne bap ke paas aur usse bol ki

Mujhe 10 lakh rupee de warna

Tujhe jan se mar dunga ..”

Bacha ghar gya aur apne baap se 10 lakh rupee le aaya

.

.

Kyu ?

.

.

Kyu ki bache ka baap bhi sardar tha !!

Kutte Ne Diya Anda – Santa Banta Hindi Jokes

Santa apne dost se bolta hai..

Santa : Yar , Mere kutte ne anda diya hai..

Dost : Pagal ho gya hai kya,

Kutta kabse aande dene laga !!!

Santa : Mera style hai ye ,

maine apne murgi ka nam kutta rakha hai..

Alia Bhatt Ke Paise Chori – Hindi Joke

Alia Bhatt ka Bag chori ho gya..

Usne Varun se bola

Alia Bhatt : Yar , Mera bag chori ho gya,

Usme 3000Rupee the..

Varun : Chal Jhuthi ,

2500 hi the , maine khud ghar jake gine the..

Alia Bhatt : Paise ki koi problem nahi hai,

Bas ye pata chal jaye ki o adami kaun tha..

Pappu Ki Class – Funny Hindi Joke

Pappu aur uska dost park me khel rahe the

Tabhi pappu ke dost ko ek messageaata hai

Dost : Yar , Teacher ka message hai,

Extra class ke liya bulaya hai..

Pappu : ab kya kare ..

Dost : Mujhe kya pata ..

Pappu :Acha ek kam kar ..

“Message not send” likh ke reply kar de

Couple Garden Me – Pati Patni Hindi Joke

Ek Couple Garden me baithe huye the,

Tabhi Waha polic aagai !!

Police : Yaha pe aaise baithna mana hai ?

Adami : Hum Sadi suda hai ..

Police : To ghar me jake baitho ..

Adami : Isaka Pati nahi manega !!

Biwi chahiye – husband wife funny hindi joke

Ek aadmi ne facebook pe status dala

“Biwi chahiye”

Reply me 10000 like aur

15000 comment aaye

“Ha mujhe deni hai biwi ”

.

.

Admi ne jabab me likha

“Kamino mang nahi raha..

puch raha hu kisi ko biwi chahiye “…

Double Ticket – Funny Sardar Hindi Joke

Sardar conductor se bola

Sardar : Bhai sahab 2 ticket deta ..

Conductor : 2 ticket kyu chahiye ?

Sardar : Ek khu jaye to dusari kam aayegi !!

Conductor : Dono kho jaye to ?

Sardar :Fir Pass kab kam aayega !!!!

Biwi chahiye – husband wife funny hindi joke

Ek aadmi ne facebook pe status dala

“Biwi chahiye”

Reply me 10000 like aur

15000 comment aaye

“Ha mujhe deni hai biwi ”

.

.

Admi ne jabab me likha

“Kamino mang nahi raha..

puch raha hu kisi ko biwi chahiye “…

Pappu hindi joke – Bichari ladki aur pappu

Ek ladki 20th floor se gir padi ……. .

14th floor pe ek adami ne catch kar liya aur pocha mujhe pyar karogi …… .

Ladki: “nahi”

Adami ne usse niche chhor diya

8th floor pe ek aur adami na catch kiya aur pucha

Mujhe kiss karogi tum …..

Ladki :” nahi ”

Usne bhi niche chhor diya …… .

Ladki ne pray kiya ki usse ek chance aur de de…

4th floor pe usse Pappu ne catch kiya …….. .

Ladki ekdam se boli :” mai tumhe pyar krungi aur kiss bhi karungi mujhe bacha lo bas ”

Pappu ne usay niche gira diya …

Pappu : “Ghatiya ladki , mai sarif banda hu,

aise kam mai nahi karta”

Koisko bachaoge – pati patni funny hindi joke

Ek saadi suda aadmi se pucha gya sawal :

” Agar ek pijare me aap ki patni aur aap ki saas

sher ke sath band ho to,

Aap kisko bachaye ge ? ”

Pati ye sunnte hi jor jor se hasne laga

Adami : Aap aaise kyu has rahe hai ?

Pati : Ye bhi koi puchne ki bat hai ,

Mai to sher ko bachauga ,

Waise bhi duniya me sherbache hi kitne hai..

Pappu funny hindi joke – Biwi se pareshan

Biwi se pareshan ho kar pappu ek bar pappu ek pandit ke pass gya

Pappu : Panditji , Ye saat janmo ka pyar wali bat sach hai kya ?

Panditji : han , 100% sahi hai !!

Pappu yani mujhe agle janam me bhi yahi milegi …

Panditji : Han beta ..

Pappu : fir to aatam hatya karna bhi bekar hai !!!

Boss Secretary funny hindi joke

Secretary bhagte huye Hui Boss Ke Cabin Mein Aayi Aur Boss Se boli.

Secretary : “Sir, Aap Mujhe kam Se Nikal To Nahi Rahe ho ?”

Boss  : “Nahi To, Tumhe kyu lagta hai ?”

Secretary : “Wo aapne ek naya chaywala ko kam pe rakh liya na isliye !!!“

Girlfriend boyfriend in resturant – hindi joke

Ek bar girlfriend aur boyfriend resturant me gye..

Boyfriend : Kya logi tum ?

Girlfriend : Jo tum khao !!

Boyfriend : Acha , Waiter….Menu le aana..

Girlfriend : Mai bhi menu khaugi !!!

Girl and boy in examination hall – funny joke

English ke exam me ladki ne ladke se pucha
” yar plzzz pehle ka answer
bata dee……
Boy : acha le jaldi likh le …..
Girl answer likhne ke bad : thanks bro ..

tune meri bahut madad kari…
.
.
boy shocked rah gya ……..
Boy : Kamini bhai hoga tera boyfieend…

Sali galat hai answer..

Dhang se padh answer match ki commentary likhi hai tune …..
.
.
Boys rockss and girls behosh !!!

Hindi Funny Jokes – Bagh Aur Hiran

Ek Pari ne dekha ki ek Bagh hiran ka pichha kar raha hai……
.
.
Pari ne dono ko rok kar bola ki agar tum aisa na karo to mai tum dono ki 3 : 3 Wise puri karungi…
.
.

.
Bagh : Mere alawa is jungle ke tamaam Bagho ko Baghin bana do.
.
Hiran  : Mujhe ek helmet de do.
.
.

.
Bagh : Bagal wale jungle ke tamaam Bagho ko bhi Baghin bana do..
.
hiran : Mujhe ek bike de do.
.
.

.
Bagh  : Saari duniya ke Bagho ko Baghin bana do.
.
.
.
Hiran ne helmet pehna , bike start ki  aur bola :
“Iss Bagh  ko Gay bana do”

Wife Aap Hi Ka Ladka Hai – Funny Naughty joke

Ek admi ek Robot le aaya apne bache ke liye , jo Jooth bone pe thapadh lagata tha…
.

.
Beta : Papa aaj mai padhne nahi jauga mere peet me dard hai…. (Sattaak)
.
.
.
Papa :  Dekha tune jooth bola isliye tujhe Thapadh laga, mai tere jitna tha to kabhi jhoth nahi bolta tha ….(Sattaak)
.
.
.
Wife : (Jor jor Haste huye boli) Aap hi ka Ladka hai…. (Sattaak)

Boy Meri cousin hai – hindi funny joke

Ek ladka apni girlfriend ko leke ja raha tha,

.

Ladke ka dost puchta hai : Kaun hai ye ?

.

Ladka : Meri Cousin hai !!

.

Lake ka Dost : Pichle sal ye meri cousin thi !!

Girlfriend ki demand – hindi funny joke

Girlfriend : Baby , ees hapte daily hum movie dekhege,

Aur agle hapte hum daily shoping karege !!!

.

.

Boyfriend : Uske next week hum daily mandir jayege !!

Girlfriend : o kyu ?

.

Boyfriend : Bhikh mangne !!!

Boy chalti hai kya – funny joke

Boy : Mai 4 sal ka hu aur tum ?

Girl : Mai bhi 4 sal ki hu !!

Boy : Chalo fir chalte hai ?

Girl (Sarmate huye) : Kaha chale ?

Boy : Polio ko khurak pine !!

Santa police aur danda – funny hindi joke

Santa Phone Pe: Ye Kaha Ka Number Hai ?

Police : Police Station ka hai……

Santa : Hath Mein Kya Hai tumhare?

Police : Danda Hai, Kyu ?

Santa : Apne Piche Le Lo Isko …..

Ye Keh Ke Santa Ne Phone Kat Diya . Police Ne Number Nikaal Ke Usi Number Pe Phone Kia Toh Pappu Ki Maa Ne Phone Uthaya.

Police : Yaha Se Kisi ladke Ne Phone Kiya Aur Kaha Ke Danda Apne Pichwaade Me Daal Lo….

Maa : Kitni Der Pehle ?

Police : 20 Minute Ho gaye….

Maa : Ohh… Sorry… Kaafi Time Ho Gayi, Nikaal Lo… Aap Bhi Kahan Bachche Ki Baaton Me Aa Gaye….. ?

Bhikhari in five star hotal – funny hindi joke

Ek bhikhari ko 500 ka note mil jata,

Wo 5 star hotal me jake bhar pet khana kha leta hai ..

Bill 3500 ka aata hai,

Waiter ke bill mangane pe bhikhari bolta hai paise nahi hai,

Fir police aati hai aur bhikhari ko pakadh ke leke chali jati hai..

Bhikha police ko 100 rupee de kaf chhut jata hai …..

Parmanu borm – funny hindy joke

Pakistani Rastrapati ka bayan aaya :

Agar Hindustan ne humla kiya to,

Hum parmanu borm chor denge !!

Rajnath singh :

To humne parmanu borm naredar modi ke barat me chhorne ke liye nahi rakha…

Funny propose by boy – hindi joke

A 2nd class boy proposes a girl:
Boy : I LOVE YOU !!!
Girl : Ek thappad Khayega khichke ….
Boy : Ghusa nahi khayegi fir….
Badi aayi thappad marne wali…

Monu ki kismat – hindi funny joke

Ek Budi aurat Cinema Hall Me
Coke Ki Bottle Leke Baihi Thi ….
Kabhi 10 Min Me Muh Ko
Lagati To Kabhi 15 Min Me lagato …
Pas Bethe Monu Ko Gussa Aa Gaya,

Usne Budhiya Se coke Bottle Chini
Aur Puri 1 Bar me Me Pi gya aur bola :
Dekh Aise Peete Hai ….
.
.
Budiya : Lekin Beta Mai isme
Pan Thook Rahi Thi

Kitni gandi bate karte hai – boy girl jokes

• Pahli ladki : Yar ye Boys aapas me kitni gandi bate karte hai ….
  .
  .
  Dusari ladki: kitni gandi karte hai ?
  .
  .
  Pahli ladki : Aree jitni hum girls aapas me karte hai …..
  .
  .
  Dusari ladki  : hee bhagwan itni gandi …..

Fail hone pe laddu bate – Hindi funny joke

Teacher : Netaji , aap ka ladka fail hogya hai,

fir bhi aap laddu bat rahe hai…

Netaji : Fail hai to kya huwa,

Class me 70 me s 50 bache fail hai,

Bahumat to mere pappu ke sath hai..

Kitni gandi bate karte hai – boy girl jokes

• Pahli ladki : Yar ye Boys aapas me kitni gandi bate karte hai ….
  .
  .
  Dusari ladki: kitni gandi karte hai ?
  .
  .
  Pahli ladki : Aree jitni hum girls aapas me karte hai …..
  .
  .
  Dusari ladki  : hee bhagwan itni gandi …..

Fail hone pe laddu bate – Hindi funny joke

Teacher : Netaji , aap ka ladka fail hogya hai,

fir bhi aap laddu bat rahe hai…

Netaji : Fail hai to kya huwa,

Class me 70 me s 50 bache fail hai,

Bahumat to mere pappu ke sath hai..

Sardar kaha tak padhe ho – funny joke

Sardar : Aap kaha tak padhe ho ?

Man : B.A !!!

Sardar : Kamal karte ho yar,

Sirf 2 word padha hai,

O bhi ulta !!!

Boss Secretary Naughty Funny Jokes

Boss : Tumhari  ability kya hai ……?
Lady : Young hu, Dynamic hu, Sincere hu,… Honest, Hardworking, Qualified, aur Experienced bhi hu , aur  to aur.., Deserving hu , Typing janti hu, Computer me bhi expert hu, thoda accounts bhi janti hu ……!!!
Boss : Aur kuch ……,

Lady : Single hu , aur sabse jaruri bat ki aapne
Flat me aakeli rahti  hu …. aur coper-t  laga rakha hai …
Boss : Bas kar pagli , aab joining ke din

hi promotion legi …!!!

Boyfriend Ladhai Ladhai Me Romance – funny joke

Boyfriend Girlfriend Beech pe ladh rahe the..

Girlfriend : Kamine…

Mai tere kapde fad dungi…

Boyfriend : Dekh ab tu ladhai ladhai me Romantic bate kar rahi hai….

Stupid Girl Boy – hindi funny joke

Ek ladki ne ladke ko pendrive deke boka

Girl : Isme facebook dal ke dede  !!

“Ladka hairani se ladki ko dekhne laga”

Girl : Kya huwa ,2 GB me nahi aaye ga kya ?

.

Dil bhar gya BC !!!

Solid insult of boy by girl – funny joke

Solid Insult !!!!

Boy : i love you ,

mai tumhare bina nahi rah sakta,

Mar jauga,

Mit jauga,

Tere pyar me fana ho jauga….

.

.

.

Girl : hmmm , Dekh le jaisa tujhe thik lage !!!!!

Funny joke – MATHS ki full form

Teacher (Raju se) : Raju batao MATHS ki full form kya hoti hai,

Raju jabab deta hai :

“Meri Aatma Tumhe Hamesha Satayegi”

.

.

.

Teacher ko samjh nahi aaraha ki bache ne full form batai ki baduwa di

Santa ne nikale gadhi ke pahiye hindi joke

Santa apni gadhi se pahiye nikal raha tha,

Banta : tu apni gadhi se pahiye kyu nikal raha hai…

Santa : Dekh nahi raha yaha liya..” Parking sirf two wheeler ke liye hai “….

Santa ki shadi ki keset hindi funny joke

Santa Jito se bolta hai …

“Kal mai ek movie dekh raha tha jisme kabhi churail mere piche

aur kabhi mere aage aage chal rahi thi “,

Jito : kaun si movie dekh kare the ?

Santa : ” Hamari shadi ki keset “…

Santa ki shadi ki keset hindi funny joke

Santa Jito se bolta hai …

“Kal mai ek movie dekh raha tha jisme kabhi churail mere piche

aur kabhi mere aage aage chal rahi thi “,

Jito : kaun si movie dekh kare the ?

Santa : ” Hamari shadi ki keset “…

Wife is always right – hindi funny joke

Wife : Kya tumhe pedh pe chadna aaya hai ?

Husband : Nahi !!

Wife : Tumse aacha to langoor hai ,

.

.

10 din bad,

Husbant : Ab mujhe pedh pe chadna aata hai ,

Wife : Tum aur langoor me kya farak hai..

Mere dosto ko tum nahi jante – funny joke

Teacher : Agar tumhare friend ko 2000 rupee do aur

usse 300 rupee ki jarurat hai to o kitne wapis karega ?

.

.

Student : ek bhi nahi ?

Teacher : Kya ? Tum math nahi janti ?

.

.

Student : Math to janta hu par aap mere dosto ko nahi jante…

Bajuwali v/s bahubali – funny joke

Patni : Sunte ho Bahubali achi hai …….dekh lo,

Pati whats app chalata huwa balcony me chala gya,

Patni : Ander aajao …

Bahubali bola hai,

Bagalwali nahi….

funny joke – Exam me fail hone pe

Agar koi bacha exam me fail ho jaye to,

Maa tin word bolti hai :

” Aur ghum le !!”

.

.

Papa bhi tin word bolte hai :

” Sarm nahi aati ”

.

.

Dost bhi tin word bolte hai,

par dil jit lete hai,

.

.

.

.

” aree tu bhi !!”

hindi funny joke – tent huwa chori

Monu aur Sonu safar par jaa rahe the,
Raat ho gayi to vo tent dal kar so gaye.
Raat ko Monu ki nind khuli, usne Sonu ko jaga kar kaha, “Aasmaan ki taraf tuje kya najar aata hai ? ”
Sonu : Bahut sare tare,
Monu : Isse kya pata chalta hai ?
Sonu : Aasman kitna khubsurat hai,
Monu : Abe Sharukh khan  ki aulad, Tent chori ho gya.

hindi funny joke – Vafadar kutta

Pappu : Mein aapna kutta bechna chahta hu !
Monu : ye vafadar hai kya?
Pappu : Ha ! Mai ese pahele bhi 5 bar bech chuka hu. Ye vafadar itna hai ki har bar mere pas hi wapis bhag aata hai.

Hindi funny joke – Kumbh ka mela

Ek pati kumbh ke mele me prathna kar raha tha,

hey prabhu, nayay karo…

hey prabhu, nayay karo…

Hamesha bhai bhai ko bicharte dekha hai khumbh me,

Kabhi pati-patni pe bhi try karo.

Cricket World cup – funny funny joke

World Cup !!

Srilanka kabhi pakistan se nahi jita,

Pakistan kabhi hindutan se nahi jita,

Hindustan kabhi newziland se nahi jita,

Aur Newziland kabhi wor̆ldcup nahi jita.

funny hindi joke -Pati ne dafnaya

Ek aadmi apni patni ko dafnakar ghar ja raha tha,

Tabhi achnak bijali chamki, badal garze aur tufani barish suru ho gai,

Mahol afra tafri ka hogya,

Pati ne aashma ki tarf uper dekha aur bola,

Lagta hai pahuch gai tu

Funny hindi joke – Pandit narak me pahucha

Ek papi aadmi marne ke bad nark me gya ,

Kuch dino bad uske gao ke paditji usse waha mile,

Uss papi aadmi ko badi hairani hue ,

Usne paditji se puch,

“aap yaha se ?”

Pandiji : Panditayen ke karan ,

Papi aadmi : O kaise ?

Pandiji : Mai kabhi jhuth nahi bola , koi pap nahi kiya,

par jab har roj paditain puchti thi ki mai kaisi lag rahi hu to mujhe jhuth bolna padhta tha,

.

.

.

Hasiye mat ..

Hum bhi nark me hi jane wale hai

Hindi funny joke – Complete aur finish me antar

Sali angreji ki kitab padh rahi thi,

To usne apne jija se ek sawal puch ki,

“Complete aur finish me kya antar hai”,

To jija ne jabab diya :

“Ager sadi sadi ladki se hi jaye to jindigi Complete ,

aur sadi galat ladki se ho jaye to jindagi Finish”

Girlfriend ne manga i-phone funny joke

Dad : Udash kyu ho beta ?

Son : Nahi bata sakta aapko ?

Dad : aapna friend samjh ke bata de ,

Son : Ab kya batau tujhe  yar …teri bhabhi i-phone mang rahi hai…

De Thapad…  De Thapad…

Hindi funny joke – Sharma ji ki kanjusi nikali

Sharma ji ke parosh me bhagwan ki aarti ho rahi thi,

Aarti ki thali jab sharma ji ke samne aai to,

Sharma ji ne apni jeb se das ka fata chita note chupke se nikal ke dal diya ki koi dekhe na,

Waha bahut jayada hi bhid tha,

Tabhi sharma ji ke piche se ek aunty ne sharma ji ka pith thap thapate huwe 2000 ka note unki taraf badhaya,

Sharma ji ne o note thali me dal diye,

Bahar nikalne pe sharma ji ne un aunty ko dhanybad kaha,

To auntu ne bataya ki jab aap 10 rupee ka note nikal rahe thi to aapke jeb se 2000 ka note gir gaya tha, o note aap ka hi tha

Sharma ji behosh

Patni bataye gi tumhi kamiya – funny hindi joke

Santa : Guruji , mujhe aapne andar jhakna hai kaise jhaku ?

kaise mai apni khubiya dhudhna chahta hu ?

Guruji : Bache ye to bahut aasan hai , sadi kar lo .

Tumhari biwi tumhari hi nahi tumhare khandan ki kamiya itni bar

batayegi ki tumhe yad ho jayegi…

.

.

Bolo hari ohm hari ohm…

Facebook comment – hindi funny joke

Kal ek ladki ne facebook pe post dala,

“mai bahut kush hu,

mai buwa ban gai”

To maine bhi comment kar diya :

” aur mai fufa “,

ab isme block marne ki kya jarurat thi, bhai ?

Kamine dost – hiindi funny joke

Mai : bhai …. pyar ho gya mujhe..

.

.

.

.

Mere Dost : Bhai address bata bhabhi ka…

hum unki life barbad nahi hone denge..

Baba kyu badte ja rahe hai – funny joke

Baba ki sankhya har sal

badti ja rahi hai..

.

.

Patniyo se anurodh hai,

ki apne patiyo ko pyar de,

kast nahi ..

Haridwar nagar nigam dawara janhit me jari

Kutte ka pilla – funny joke

Pappu phone pe apne dost ko :

” Kyu be kutte ke pille aaya kyu nahi “,

Jabab aaya : kutte ka pilla kha raha hai,

mai kutta bol raha hu.

Sorry Uncle

Biwi se bachao – funny joke

Kuch din pahle dost ko biwi SE bachne ke liye salah di thi ki ‘Roti Maker” le le..

.

.

“Na rahega belan na padegi mar”

.

.

Kuch dino bad dost phone karke puchta hai ki :

“Bhai washing machine kaun si company ka sahi rahega”

hindi funny joke – Dukh sukh me anter

School me hindi ke class me teacher ne pucha..

“Dukh to apna sathi hai,

Sukh to aata jata rahta hai”

.

.

Mtlb smjhao inska…

.

.Ramesh : ” Biwi hamesha aati jati rahti hai,

Sali aati jati rahti hai “,

.

Teacher Ramesh ki ye gahra gyan dekh ki chakit rah gye..

Santi ke sath rahne do – hindi funny joke

Husband :

please mujhe

santi ke sath rahne do..

.

.

.

Wife : Thik hai tum santi ke sath raho

mai aanand ke sath rahti hu..

sardar in aeroplane – hindi funny joke

Ek sardar ji ne air-hostess se bola 

“Aapki shakal meri patni se milti hai”
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi tamacha sardar ke muh pe mara
Sardar ek dam bola : “Harkate bhi bahut milti hai”

Hindi funny joke – Santa ko mili churail

Ek bar  Santa jungle se guzar raha tha
Churail ne usee roka aur kaha :

He ha ha He ha ha….

Mai Churail hu….
Santa : Mujhe pata hai….. kyu ki teri ek behen meri patni hai…

Over time karne wale – hindi funny joke

Jo log office me over time karte hai ,

Kya o log mehenti hote hai,

.

.

Nahi…

Ya to patni se tang hai,

Ya office me kisi ke sangh hai…

Santa ka chori huwa mobile – funny joke

Ek chor Santa ka phone lekar bhag raha tha..
Santa jor jor se  hasne laga
Banta : Chor tumhara phone lekar bhag raha hai aur tum han rahe ho…
Santa : Jane de, charger to mere pas hai…

Funny joke – Valntine Gift White Rose

Patni : Baby is valntine aap muje kya gift doge ?

Pati : White Rose

Patni : Par har bar to aap mujhe Red Rose dete ho

Pati : Baby….
Phele mai tumse Pyar ki asha rakhta tha……. ab santi  ki asha rakhta hu

Santa ka logic – funny hindi joke

Santa ne chtti ke legs tod kar bola, Ja bhag ja..
Lekin chitti nahi bhagi,

Santa ne bola  “Ab to ye saabit ho gya ki agar chitti  ke legs tod di jaye
to chitti sun nahi sakti …..”

Wife ki tarif – funny hindi joke

Husbnd : Tum bahut sundar ho ….

Wife : Thank you…

Husband : Tum sawarg ki pari lagti ho ….

Wife : Thank you ji…. aap kya kar rahe hai…

Husband : Khali baitha tha socha majak kar lu…

Wife ka khawf – funny hindi joke

Husband subah subah wife ke liye chaye banane utha ..

.

kitchen me gya,
fir yad aaya…

.

Phir yad aaya patni to maike gai hai…

.

.

Sala ye

Pyar hai ya khauf

Alia bhatt in race – funny joke

200 metre ki race me alia ne bhag liye…

Referee bola : 1,2,3 bhago…

.

Sab bhag liye sirf alia nahi bhai..

.

Referee : Tum kyu nahi bhag rahi…

Alia : Mera number 4 hai..

Pati huwa chup – hindi funny joke

Sharma ji ke patni ne unko  ye bol ke chup kara diya ki :

” Jayada hosiyar mat bano…

.

Jitna tumhare pas dimag hai

.

.

utna to mera hamesha kharab rahta hai “

Husband ne tin shadi ki – hindi funny joke

Husband : Raja Dasrath Ka Naam Suna Hai ?
Wife : Haa, Suna Hai ,
Husband : Uski 3 Patniya thi
Wife : Ha , Pata Hai ,
Husband : To Mai Kya 2 Shadi Aur Kar Sakta hu
Wife : Dropati Ka Naam Suna Hai ?
Husband : Rehne De Pagli, Tu To bhauk ho jati hai

Biwi se bachao – funny joke

Kuch din pahle dost ko biwi SE bachne ke liye salah di thi ki ‘Roti Maker” le le..

.

.

“Na rahega belan na padegi mar”

.

.

Kuch dino bad dost phone karke puchta hai ki :

“Bhai washing machine kaun si company ka sahi rahega”

hindi funny joke – Dukh sukh me anter

School me hindi ke class me teacher ne pucha..

“Dukh to apna sathi hai,

Sukh to aata jata rahta hai”

.

.

Mtlb smjhao inska…

.

.Ramesh : ” Biwi hamesha aati jati rahti hai,

Sali aati jati rahti hai “,

.

Teacher Ramesh ki ye gahra gyan dekh ki chakit rah gye.

Santi ke sath rahne do – hindi funny joke

Husband :

please mujhe

santi ke sath rahne do..

.

.

.

Wife : Thik hai tum santi ke sath raho

mai aanand ke sath rahti hu..

sardar in aeroplane – hindi funny joke

Ek sardar ji ne air-hostess se bola 

“Aapki shakal meri patni se milti hai”
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi tamacha sardar ke muh pe mara
Sardar ek dam bola : “Harkate bhi bahut milti hai”

Alia v/s apple – funny joke

Varun : Tum khali pe me kitne apple kha sakti ho?
Alia : Mai 5 kha sakti hu….
Varun : Galat jabab…ek apple khane ke bad tumhara pet khali thodi pacha..
Alia : Wow mast joke hai ….Mai apne dost ko bataugi…..
Alia to deepika : Tum khali pe me kitne apple kha sakti ho?
Deepika : Mai 7 kha sakti hu….
Alia : Pagal.. 5 bolti to ek dam mast joke sunati ….

Bejati Ultimate – funny shayari

Har mood ka anjam nhi hota,
dil ke risto ka koi pahchan nhi hota,
DISCOVERY channal ki madat se khoja hai aapko…
warna aap jaise namuna ka milana asan nhi hota….

Alia v/s income tex – funny joke

Alia Bhatt : Hello Dad, aaj ka kya plan hai ?

Mahesh Bhatt : Bas Income Tax Returns.

Alia Bhatt: Ohhh… Lekin pahla part kab aaya?

Mahesh Bhatt : Ja beti ja tu , Shooting pe ja …

Alia bhatt ko mila 500 rupee – hindi funny joke

Alia bhatt and varun dhawan sarak pe chal rahe the …
Aur sarak pe unhe 500ke note gira huwa mila…
Alia- Ab hum kya karege?
Varun- Hum 50:50 kar lete hai…..
Alia- Par bake ke 400 ka kya karege ?

Kamina dost hindi funny shayari

Pucha mujhse bhagwan ne….
Bhula diya kya tujhe  tere dosto ne….
Maine bola, bhul to nhi sakte o log…
Bas lage honge kamine ladki patane me…

Alia v/s apple – funny joke

Varun : Tum khali pe me kitne apple kha sakti ho?
Alia : Mai 5 kha sakti hu….
Varun : Galat jabab…ek apple khane ke bad tumhara pet khali thodi pacha..
Alia : Wow mast joke hai ….Mai apne dost ko bataugi…..
Alia to deepika : Tum khali pe me kitne apple kha sakti ho?
Deepika : Mai 7 kha sakti hu….
Alia : Pagal.. 5 bolti to ek dam mast joke sunati ….

Bejati Ultimate – funny shayari

Har mood ka anjam nhi hota,
dil ke risto ka koi pahchan nhi hota,
DISCOVERY channal ki madat se khoja hai aapko…
warna aap jaise namuna ka milana asan nhi hota….

Alia v/s income tex – funny joke

Alia Bhatt : Hello Dad, aaj ka kya plan hai ?

Mahesh Bhatt : Bas Income Tax Returns.

Alia Bhatt: Ohhh… Lekin pahla part kab aaya?

Mahesh Bhatt : Ja beti ja tu , Shooting pe ja …

Pati ki Gunaho ki saja – funny hindi joke

Pati ne apne patni se bade pyar se bole :

” Tum se sadi kar ke mera fayada ho gya “….

Patni : O koun sa fayada ?

Pati : Meri karmo ki saja issi janam me mil gai …..

Alia bhatt flag lene gayi – funny hindi joke

Alia bhatt independence day ke liye bharat ka jhanda lene gai,
Jhanda dekh kar Alia bhatt ne kuch kaha,
jise sunte hi dukaan wala behosh ho gya,
Guess karo Alia ne kya kaha hoga ?

‘Isme aur colour dikhao ge bhaiya ?’

Alia on news – funny joke

TV News: Kashab Hanged….

Alia bhatt : Ek bar kashab ko reset kar do fir kashab hang nahi hoga !!

Funny hindi joke Bollywood ka bhoot

Maa : Beta khana kha liya ?

Sonu : Haa Maa !!

Maa : Le ab goli kha ,

Sonu : Par maa maine aapka namak khaya hai !!

Maa : Jayada darame na kar…

Dawai kha le..

Bukhar kam ho jayega…

Alia bhatt on Reservation – hindi funny joke

Gujjar andolan ke bich alia bhat ne gujjaro ko phone karke bola :

” Aap logo ko reservation chahiye to online karwa sakte ho aap… isme rail ki patari ukharne ki kya jarurat hai … “

Bejati Ultimate – funny shayari

Har mood ka anjam nhi hota,
dil ke risto ka koi pahchan nhi hota,
DISCOVERY channal ki madat se khoja hai aapko…
warna aap jaise namuna ka milana asan nhi hota….

Alia v/s income tex – funny joke

Alia Bhatt : Hello Dad, aaj ka kya plan hai ?

Mahesh Bhatt : Bas Income Tax Returns.

Alia Bhatt: Ohhh… Lekin pahla part kab aaya?

Mahesh Bhatt : Ja beti ja tu , Shooting pe ja …

Boy and girl hindi funny joke

Ladki : Tera note gir gya !!

Ladka : Rahne de mai giri hue chijhe nahi uthata !!

Ladki : Abe bevkuf, tera Samsung Galexy Note 3 gir gya hai…

Ladka :

.

.

.

Mummy !! Kaha Gira Kaha Gira ….

Bahubali kattapa hindi funny joke

Employee : Sir, mujh kuch dino ki chutti chahiye 1

Boss : Pahle mere ek sawal ka jabab do !!

Employee : Puchiye sir ,

Boss : Kattapa ne bahubali ko kyu mara ?

Employee : Mujhe lagta hai …Bahubali ne kattapa ko chutti nahi di hogi !!!!

Boss :

.

.

.

Ek mahine ki chutti le lo…Aaram karo !!

Gai bhais pani me – funny joke

Ek Moti ladki ko Heroien banana tha ….

o directer ke pass gai..

Directer : Thik hai…

Tum mere film me kam karogi…

Ladki : haan , Mujhe kya seen karna hoga !!

Directer : Tumhe dhire dhire pane me utarna hoga !!

Ladki : kyu ??

” Film ka nam kya hai ”

Directer : Gai bhaish pani me !!

Boy Tujhme rab dikhta hai – funny joke

Boy : Tujhme rab dikhta hai yara mai kya karu ???

Girl : Darsan kar , Dachina chada , paradad le,

aur aage badh,

kyuki tere piche mere aur bhi bhakt line me lage hai !!!!

Santa wife aur sari – funny joke

Santa  Banta se bolata hai : yar meri biwi pagale hai!!!

Bnata : Kyu kya huwa ?

Santa : O hamesa Sari ki farmaish karti rahti hai,

Parso hi usne ek sari manga ,

Aur fir ek aaj mang rahi thi !!!

Banta : Ajib bat hai , itni sariyo ka vo karti kya hai ?

Santa : pata nahi , Maine to aaj tak la ke hi nai di !!

Pappu ki kharchili girlfriend – funny joke

Pappu ki amir girlfriend usse boli : Agar mai mar jauga to tum kya karoge?

Pappu : Mai bhi mar jauga !!

Girlfriend  : Tum mujhse itna puyar karte ho ?

Puppu : Payar wayar kuch nahi hai,

Tere chakar me udhari bahut hi gaye hai,

Unhe chukauga kaise !!!!

Pappu ka Result funny joke

Pappu Ki Mummy :  Aaji sunte ho pappu ke papa,

bagal wali Pinky 99% marks lekar  aai hai !!!!

Pappu ke papa :  Acha aur  baki ke 1% marks kaha gye ?

Pappu Ki Mummy : Wo tumhara Pappu le aaya hai   !!!!

Pappu se teacher pareshan – funny joke

Class teacher to principal : Sir , ess pappu ka kuch karo,

Din par di aur badmash hota ja raha hai,

Ab kuch action lene ka time agaya hai..

Principal : Kya Action lena chahiye ?

Class Teacher : Mera tabadla kar do !!!1

Bahubali kattapa hindi funny joke

Employee : Sir, mujh kuch dino ki chutti chahiye 1

Boss : Pahle mere ek sawal ka jabab do !!

Employee : Puchiye sir ,

Boss : Kattapa ne bahubali ko kyu mara ?

Employee : Mujhe lagta hai …Bahubali ne kattapa ko chutti nahi di hogi !!!!

Boss :

.

.

.

Ek mahine ki chutti le lo…Aaram karo !!

Gai bhais pani me – funny joke

Ek Moti ladki ko Heroien banana tha ….

o directer ke pass gai..

Directer : Thik hai…

Tum mere film me kam karogi…

Ladki : haan , Mujhe kya seen karna hoga !!

Directer : Tumhe dhire dhire pane me utarna hoga !!

Ladki : kyu ??

” Film ka nam kya hai ”

Directer : Gai bhaish pani me !!

Boy Tujhme rab dikhta hai – funny joke

Boy : Tujhme rab dikhta hai yara mai kya karu ???

Girl : Darsan kar , Dachina chada , paradad le,

aur aage badh,

kyuki tere piche mere aur bhi bhakt line me lage hai !!!!

Santa wife aur sari – funny joke

Santa  Banta se bolata hai : yar meri biwi pagale hai!!!

Bnata : Kyu kya huwa ?

Santa : O hamesa Sari ki farmaish karti rahti hai,

Parso hi usne ek sari manga ,

Aur fir ek aaj mang rahi thi !!!

Banta : Ajib bat hai , itni sariyo ka vo karti kya hai ?

Santa : pata nahi , Maine to aaj tak la ke hi nai di !!

Pappu ki kharchili girlfriend – funny joke

Pappu ki amir girlfriend usse boli : Agar mai mar jauga to tum kya karoge?

Pappu : Mai bhi mar jauga !!

Girlfriend  : Tum mujhse itna puyar karte ho ?

Puppu : Payar wayar kuch nahi hai,

Tere chakar me udhari bahut hi gaye hai,

Unhe chukauga kaise !!

Pappu ka Result funny joke

Pappu Ki Mummy :  Aaji sunte ho pappu ke papa,

bagal wali Pinky 99% marks lekar  aai hai !!!!

Pappu ke papa :  Acha aur  baki ke 1% marks kaha gye ?

Pappu Ki Mummy : Wo tumhara Pappu le aaya hai   !!!!

Hindi joke ptani ka dar

Pati pati ko call karke karhata hai :

“Meri duniya ko itni payari , itni khubsurat banane ke liye tumhara sukriya,

Aaj mai jo bhi hu tumhari badaulat hi hu,

Meri jindagi me tum bhagwan ban ke aai ho tum,

Mere ko jine ka ek maksat de diya tumne”

.

.

Ptani ne bola :

“Mar liya chautha pack , aajao ghar nahi bolugi kuch”

Pati : “Gate pe hu dawaja khol do”

Pati Patni aur Videshi Kutta – funny joke

Ek aadmi videsh se ek kuta laya,

Jo sungh ke apne ristedaro ko pahchan leta tha,

.

Ek din admi ne kutte ko school se apne bache lane ko bheja,

Kutta bhagta huwa school chala gya,

aur kafi der tak wapas nahi aaya,

.

Patni paresha hone lagi,

O khud bacho ko dhudhane nikal gai…

.

Tabhi usne dekha ki samne se …

kutta samne se ek bacho ka jhundh le ke aaraha tha..

.

Jisme se..

2 bache nokrani ke the

3 bache paroshi ke the

1 bacha sali ke the

2 bache uski saheli ke the

ye dekh kar patni chila uthi…

Ye sare bache aap ke hai ?

.

Pati dahadta huwa bola …

iska jabab to bad me dunga,

pahle ye bata apne 2 bache kaha hai…

Pappu ki nokari gai – funny joke

Pappu ki nokri chali gai…

Pappu roj boss ke ghar ke samne potti kar aata…

Boss : Ye kya harkat hai ?

Pappu :

Mai ye batana chahta ho ki…

Bhukha nahi mar raha mai…

Teerth yatra par Kunware Ladke – funny joke

Kuch kuware ladko ka group tirath yatra ke liye gya..

Guard ne bola : kal subah naha ke darsan ke liye chalege…

Ye tirth sthal hai issiliye yaha kundo me Vastra hin hoke naha rahi hogi,

tum log dhayan mat dena ispe…

Hari Om , Hari Om bol ke aage badh jana…

.

.

Agle din o log gye..

Kuch der chalne ke bad,

Unme se ek bola…Hari Om,Hari Om

.

,

Baki sare fat se bole….

Kaha hai, kaha hai

Bollywood mujhe kaun bachayega funny joke

Director to Heroien:
Tumhe 4 Gunday pakdenge phir hero tumhe bachane aayega…
Heroien :hero kon hai movie me ?
Director :Imraan Hashmi !!
Heroien :To usse mujhe
tera baap bachayega kya ?

Hindi joke ptani ka dar

Pati pati ko call karke karhata hai :

“Meri duniya ko itni payari , itni khubsurat banane ke liye tumhara sukriya,

Aaj mai jo bhi hu tumhari badaulat hi hu,

Meri jindagi me tum bhagwan ban ke aai ho tum,

Mere ko jine ka ek maksat de diya tumne”

.

.

Ptani ne bola :

“Mar liya chautha pack , aajao ghar nahi bolugi kuch”

Pati : “Gate pe hu dawaja khol do”

Pati Patni aur Videshi Kutta – funny joke

Ek aadmi videsh se ek kuta laya,

Jo sungh ke apne ristedaro ko pahchan leta tha,

.

Ek din admi ne kutte ko school se apne bache lane ko bheja,

Kutta bhagta huwa school chala gya,

aur kafi der tak wapas nahi aaya,

.

Patni paresha hone lagi,

O khud bacho ko dhudhane nikal gai…

.

Tabhi usne dekha ki samne se …

kutta samne se ek bacho ka jhundh le ke aaraha tha..

.

Jisme se..

2 bache nokrani ke the

3 bache paroshi ke the

1 bacha sali ke the

2 bache uski saheli ke the

ye dekh kar patni chila uthi…

Ye sare bache aap ke hai ?

.

Pati dahadta huwa bola …

iska jabab to bad me dunga,

pahle ye bata apne 2 bache kaha hai…

Pappu ki nokari gai – funny joke

Pappu ki nokri chali gai…

Pappu roj boss ke ghar ke samne potti kar aata…

Boss : Ye kya harkat hai ?

Pappu :

Mai ye batana chahta ho ki…

Bhukha nahi mar raha mai…

Teerth yatra par Kunware Ladke – funny joke

Kuch kuware ladko ka group tirath yatra ke liye gya..

Guard ne bola : kal subah naha ke darsan ke liye chalege…

Ye tirth sthal hai issiliye yaha kundo me Vastra hin hoke naha rahi hogi,

tum log dhayan mat dena ispe…

Hari Om , Hari Om bol ke aage badh jana…

.

.

Agle din o log gye..

Kuch der chalne ke bad,

Unme se ek bola…Hari Om,Hari Om

.

,

Baki sare fat se bole….

Kaha hai, kaha hai

Saitan ladke ke sapne – funny joke

Ek bacha apne papa ki sadhi ki CD dekh raha tha…

.

.

Bacha : Hum bhi apni sadhi me item girl nachwayege…

.

.

Papa : Haramkhor ye reti buwa aur masi hai !!!

Tai angrezi sekkhegi – funny joke

Haryana ki tai ko angreji sikhane ke liye teacher aai …

Ab A for Apple aur B for ball samshana to bahut muskil tha..

To iske liye ek tarkib nikali…

.

A for Amar ki bahu,

B for Bablu ki bahu,

C for Chandu ki bahu,

.

Sab ache se ratwaya  , fir test liya..

.

Teacher : Batao W for kya hota hai…

Tai confuse ho gai…

Tai : Lage to yu Madan ki bahu jaisi,

par tange ulti karke khadi se…

Pappu aur uska pyar

Pappu: – Papa mujhe ek ladki se
pyar ho gaya hai…!!
Papa: – wow kon hai vo kushnasib ladki…???
Pappu: – Pinky, apne Padosi Guptaji ki Beti…!!!
;;
PAppa: ohh no beta, me tumhe kuch batana chahta
hu but tum promise karo mummy ko nhi bataoge
;;
Pappu: – Promise, nhi bataunga…!!!
Pappa: – Actually Pinky tumhari Behen hai…. ye sun k
puppu ne pinky ko bhula diya….!!!
;;
Aur fir 2 mahine baad
Pappu: – Papa mujhe firse ek ladki se pyar ho gaya hai,
aur vo ladki bahot hot hai
Pappu: – wow ye to bahot acchi baat hai kon
hai vo ladki ??
Pappu: – Reshma, Apne padosi Vermaji ki beti
Pappu: – ohh no fir se, Beta Reshma b tumhari
behan hai…. Pappu pagal hone laga tha, usne tang
aakar rote hue Mummy se
kaha: – Meine 6 ladkiyo se pyar kiya lekin 6 ki 6 papa ki betiya
nikali…!!
;;
;;
;;
;;
;;
Mummy: – Aale aale mera bacha ro mat… tu kisi se b pyar kar,
tu unki mat sun vo tumhare papa nhi hai… 

200 me aisehi milegi funny joke

Height of insult…
Honeymoon par gaye ek jode ne hotel me entry li.
Patni sofe pr baith gayi and pati counter pr room book
krne chala gaya.
Waha pr ek ladki mini skirt me counter pr khadi thi. Room me
aakar pati ne patni se kaha: wo jo ladki counter pr khadi thi wo
call girl thi…!!!
;;
Patni – nahi ji, ye unka uniform hota h aap to kuch b samajh lete ho
;;
;;
Pati patni me bahas ho gayi or shart lag gayi, Pati ne patni ko parde ke
peeche chhupa diya or ladki ko bulaya or
Puccha: – Main akela hu aaj rat mere sath rukogi
Ladki boli – 2000 lungi…!!
Pati – 200 dunga…!!!
;;
;;
Aur ladki gussa hoke chali gayi or pati shart jeet gaya, Fir sham ko dono
pati patni restaurent me baithe hue the to us ladki ne door se uneh dekha
and paas aakar boli…. 200 rs me to aisi hi milegi….

Anokhe sawal jabab

एक बच्चे ने सारे सवालों के जवाब दिए फिर भी मौखिक
परीक्षा में फेल हो गया.
क्यों…???
सवाल के जवाब कुछ इस तरह थे: –
सवाल: – टीपू सुल्तान की मृत्यु किस युद्ध में हुई थी ?
जवाब: – उसके आखिरी युद्ध में.
;;;
सवाल -आजादी की उद्घोषणा कहां की गई थी ?
जवाब – पन्ने के आखिर में सबसे नीचे.
;;
सवाल – तलाक का प्रमुख कारण क्या है ?
जवाब – शादी.
;;
सवाल – गंगा किस स्टेट में बहती है ?
जवाब – लिक्विड स्टेट.
;;
सवाल – महात्मा गांधी का जन्म कब हुआ था ?
जवाब – उनके जन्मदिन के दिन्.
;;
सवाल – 6 लोगों के बीच 8 आम को तुम कैसे बांटोगे ?
जवाब – मैंगो शेक बनाकर.
;;
सवाल – भारत में पूरे साल सबसे ज्यादा बर्फ कहां गिरती है ?
जवाब – दारू के ग्लास में…..”

Maine kiya khoone funny joke

जज: – पडोसी का कत्ल किसने किया ?
आरोपी: – मैने किया ।
जज: – लाश कहा है ?
आरोपी: – लाश मैने जला दी ।
जज: – वह जगह दिखाओ जहा लाश जलायी थी…?
आरोपी: – मैने सारी जमीन खोद दी।
जज : – खोदी हुई मिट्टी कहा है ?
आरोपी : – उसकी मैने ईटे बना दी ।
जज : – वो ईटे कहा है…???
आरोपी : – मैने उससे मकान बना लिया ।
जज : – वो मकान कहा है ?
आरोपी : – भूकम्प से गिर गया ।
जज : – तो मलबा कहा है ?
आरोपी : – वो मैने बेच दिया ।
जज : – किसको बेचा ?
आरोपी : – पड़ोसी को ।
जज : – पड़ोसी को बुलाओ ।
आरोपी : – वो तो मर गया ।
जज : – किसने मारा ?
आरोपी : – मैने मारा ।
जज : – तो लाश कहा है ?
आरोपी : – लाश मैने जला दी ।
;;
;;
जज : – अब्बे ऊल्लु के पट्ठे, तुने मर्डर किया है या सर्जिकल
स्ट्राईक कि है…. हत्या को कुबूल भी किये जा रहा है और कोई सबुत
भी नही दे रहा….

2 mahilaye sawarg me – funny joke

दो महिलाओं की मुलाकात स्वर्ग में हुई…

पहली: कहो बहिन, तुम्हारी मौत कैसे हुई?

दूसरी: ज्यादा ठण्ड लगने के कारण. और तुम्हारी?

पहली: हाई ब्लड प्रेशर के कारण.
बात दरअसल यह हुई कि मुझे अपने पति पर शक था. एक दिन मुझे पता चला कि वो घर में किसी दूसरी औरत के साथ हैं.
मैं फ़ौरन घर पहुंची तो देखा कि मेरे पति आराम से अकेले टीवी देख रहे हैं…

दूसरी: फिर क्या हुआ?

पहली: खबर पक्की थी इसलिए मुझे विश्वास नहीं हुआ. मैंने उस औरत को घर के कोने कोने में, तहखाने में, पर्दों के पीछे, गार्डेन
में यहाँ तक कि अलमारी और संदूक तक में तलाश किया पर वह नहीं मिली.
मुझे इतनी टेंशन हुई कि मेरा ब्लड प्रेशर बहुत बढ़ गया और मेरी मौत हो गई…

दूसरी: काश !!! तुमने फ्रिज खोलकर देख लिया होता तो आज हम दोनों जिन्दा होते…

Naukar aur Malik Joke

रामू जिस घर में काम करता था, उस घर के मालिक
की व्हिस्की की बोतल से एक-दो पैग चुराकर पी
लेना और फिर उतना ही पानी बोतल में मिला देना,
उसकी आदत थी।

मालिक को उसपर शक था लेकिन फिर भी उसने
कुछ नहीं कहा।

लेकिन जब ये रोज की ही बात हो गई तो एक दिन
जब मालिक अपनी पत्नी के साथ ड्राइंग रूम में बैठा था,
उसने वहीं से अपने नौकर रामू को जोर से
आवाज लगाई जो किचन में खाना बना रहा था।

मालिक(चिल्लाकर)—” रामू….”

रामू(किचन से)—” हाँ….मालिक ? ”

मालिक—” मेरी बोतल से किसने व्हिस्की
निकालकर पी और फिर पानी मिला दिया है ? ”

किचन से कोई जवाब नहीं मिला।

मालिक ने फिर अपना प्रश्न दोहराया लेकिन कोई
जवाब नहीं मिला।

मालिक बेहद गुस्से में किचन में पहुँचा और रामू पर
चिल्लाया—” ये क्या हो रहा है ? मैंने जब तेरा नाम
लिया तो तूने जवाब दिया लेकिन जब मैंने फिर कुछ
पूछा, फिर दोबारा पूछा तो तू जवाब नहीं दे रहा।
क्यों ?? ”

रामू—” वो ऐंसा है मालिक, कि, इस किचन में
आपको आपका सिर्फ नाम ही सुनाई देता है, और
कुछ नहीं। ”

मालिक—” ये कैसे संभव है ? ठीक है, मैं तुझे गलत
साबित करता हूँ। तू जा और ड्राइंग रूम में मालकिन
के पास जाकर मुझे आवाज लगा और फिर कुछ और
भी पूछ। मैं यहाँ किचन में सुनता हूँ। ”

रामू ड्राइंग रूम में मालकिन के पास गया और वहाँ
से मालिक को पुकारा—” मालिक…..”
मालिक( किचन से )—” हाँ….. रामू ? ”

रामू—” अपने घर की नौकरानी को मोबाइल किसने
दिलाया ? ”
किचन से कोई जवाब नहीं मिला।

रामू ने अगला प्रश्न किया,

रामू—” और फिर नौकरानी के साथ लांग ड्राइव
पर कौन गया था ? ”
कोई जवाब नहीं।

मालिक किचन से ड्राइंग रूम में आया और बोला,
मालिक—” तू सही बोल रहा है रामू।

अगर कोई किचन में हो तो उसे पुकारा गया अपना
नाम ही बस सुनाई देता है और कुछ नहीं।

अजब चमत्कार है , भाई..!!! “

Pati chala marne – funny joke

पत्नी ने सुबह उठते ही अपने पति को पंखे से रस्सी बांधते
देखा, तो घबराकर पूछा, “यह आप क्या कर रहे हो जी…?”
.
पति ने दुखी स्वर में कहा, “मैं तेरी रोज़-रोज़ की नए कपड़े दिलानेकी फरमाइशों से तंग आ गया हूं, इसलिए खुदकुशी करने जा रहा हूं…”

पत्नी ने दहाड़ें मार-मारकर रोना शुरू कर दिया, और बोली, “एक सफेद सूट तो दिलवा दो, वरना तेरहवीं पर क्या पहनूंगी…?”

Karwa chaut – funny hindi joke

पत्नी :-
मेरी ये समझ में नहीं आता की कई साल से मैं करवा चौथ का व्रत नहीं रख रही
फिर भी तुम पूर्ण स्वस्थ कैसे रहे हो।

पति :-
मैं बहुत नियम संयम से रहता हूँ इसलिए।

पत्नी :-
मुझे बेवक़ूफ़ समझ रखा है क्या ?
सच सच बताओ वह कौन है
जो तुम्हारे लिए करवा चौथ का व्रत रखती है

India v/s Pakistan – hindi funny joke

एक बार एक पाकिस्तानी एक बंगलादेशी एंव हिंदुस्तानी भाई बैठ कर बीयर पी रहे थे ! …

पाकिस्तानी ने बीयर पीकर ग्लास हवा में उछाला और
बंदूक से निशाना लगा कर उसे टुकड़े टुकड़े कर दिया, और कहने लगा:
इस्लामाबाद में ग्लास बहुत सस्ते है, इसलिए हम एक ग्लास में दोबारा नही पीते ! .

बंग्लादेशी यह देखकर बहुत इम्प्रैस हुआ उसने भी बीयर खत्म कीऔर ग्लास हवा में उछाला बंदूक से उसे टुकड़े टुकड़े कर के बोला :–
ढाका में ग्लास बनाने के लिए बहुत बालू है, इसलिए हम भी दोबारा एक ग्लास में नही पीते हैं ! . .

अब हिंदुस्तानी भाई की बारी आई! . .
वो मुस्कराया और बीयर खत्म की और ग्लास हवा में उछाला और बंदूक निकाल कर पाकिस्तानी और बंग्लादेशी को मार दिया !
और बोला :
हमारे देश में बहुत सारे पाकिस्तानी और बंग्लादेशी रहते है, हमने जिसके साथ एकबार पी ली, दोबारा उसके साथ नही पीते