urdu lateefay pathan

urdu lateefay pathan

urdu lateefay pathan per banay huay yahan se read kar sakte hain. is k elawa funny lateefay hum daily hamariweb.online per update krte hain.

2 pathan darya me thora se dahi dal kar chamche se hila raha hote han

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3 pathan aata ha or kehta ha ye kia kar rahe ho.....

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wo kehte han lasii bana rahe han

to 3 pathan kehta ha

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itna lassi tumhara baap pie ga :D

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Pathan Ne Apni Biwi Ko Goli Maar Di,,, 

Kyun Ke Usne Sirf Itna Kaha Tha Ke 

Mein Apni Zindagi,, 

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"Shan" Aur "Shoukat" Ke Sath Guzarna Chahti Hon..!! =P

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2 pathan Bhai Exam hall me..

Teacher:Tum D0no Ne Apne Father

Ka Naam Different Q Likha?

Pathan:Tm phir bolta k hm ne Naqal

ki hy hamary pas dimagh hy madam..

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Pathan-hum raat ko sapna dekha ki hum

 Katrina ke sath Beach pe uski zulfe swar rha tha 

par fir achanak kahin se barish hone laga

Man-Bewakoof,tum kutte ke sath so rhe the 

aur usne susu kar diya tha

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Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara..

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Pathan raat ko Machardani laga kar 

so raha tha: 

Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla. 

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Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko 

Torch le kar dondh raha hai.

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Bara Maza Aya

Pathan Ko Aik Bandar Mila. Wo Usay Police Station Le Gaya. 

Inspector: Isay Zoo Le Jao 

Aglay Roz Inspector Ne Pathan Ko Bandar K Saath Bus Stop Pe Dekha 

Inspector: Isay Zoo NahiN Le Kar Gaye? 

Pathan: Kal Main Isay Zoo Le Gaya Tha, BaRa Maza Aaya. Aaj Hum DonoN Film Dekhnay Ja Rahay HaiN

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Sawaab Milay Ga

Pathan K Paas 1 Mehman Aaya. Pathan Bola: ''O Yara Is Pankhe K Niche Betho Tumhe Sawaab Milega. 

Mehman:wo Kese? 

Pathan: Hm Ye Pankha Masjid Se Utaar K Laya Hai.

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Dead Phone

1 Pathan Apna Mobile Qabristan Men Dfna Rha Tha. 

Man: Ye Kya Kr Rhe Ho?

Pathan: Yaara Dukan Wale Ne Kha He K Mobile DEAD Ho Gya Hai

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Pakistan Kay Soobay

Ustaad Pathan Se Pakistan K Kitny Soobay Hay? 

Pathan : (4) 

Ustaad Sahabash Un K Naam Batao

Pathan: Mashrik, Maghrib, Shumal, Junoob.

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Garmiyon Ki Tasveer

1 Patan Ne Jali Note Banaya Orr Quaid-E-Azam Ki Topi Bhol Gaya 

Jab Dukandar Ko Dia Tou Dukandar Ne Kaha: 

Iski Tou Topi Nahi Hay. 

Pathan Bola: 

Ye Quaid-E-Azam Lala Ki Garmion Ki Tasveer Hay

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Biwi Main Dhamaka

Pathan Galti Se News Paper Ka Sub-Editor Ban Gia. Usne Aik Khabar Ki Headline Ye Di: 

"BIWI MEIN DHAMAKA...!" 

Cheif Editor: Yeh Tum Ne Headline Kia Di Hai? 

Pathan: Sir Mene Khabar Ko Asan Alfaz Mein Likha Hai. 

Cheif Editor: Acha Asal Khabar Kia Thi? 

Pathan: "MIAAN WALI MEIN DHAMAKA"

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Try Again

Ek Pathan Scheme Wali Bottle Ka Dhakan Bar Bar Khol K Band Kar Raha Tha. 

Kisi Ne Pucha Kya Hua? 

Pathan: Khocha Dhakan Mai Likha Hai 

"Try Again"

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Insult Hai Yeh

Waiter: Khan Sahb, 10 Rs Tip To Meri Insult Hy.. 

Khan: To Phir..? 

Waiter: 20 Rs To Hon.. 

Khan: Main Tumhari Double Insult Nhi Kr Skta..!!

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Pta Hain Ma Kn Hai ?

Pathan Bus Me Pori Seat Par Pheal Kar Betha Tha 

Stop Se Ek Aadmi Carha Aur Jaga Mange 

Pathan:Oye Tere Ko Pta Nahe K Me Kun He? 

Aadmi Dar Gaya Aur Khara Raha 

Next Stop Se Ek Aadmi Carha Aur Jaga Mangi 

Pathan Ne Phr Bharm Karwaya 

Us Ne Pathan Ko Pakar Lia Aur Kaha Bta To Kun He? 

Pathan:Muhammad Gul Khan Zai.

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14 August

Pathan: Mere Mohalley Wale Bohat Kanjoos Hein. 

Dost: Kiun? 

Pathan: Sab Ne 14 Aug Manai Par Kisi Ne Qurbani Ka Gosht Nahi Bheja

Pathan Jokes

Yaar

Pathan: Mera yaar aaya hai chai to bana do.

Wife:

Mein nahi bana rahi.

Pathan

Bana de jab tera yaar aaye ga to mein b bana doonga.

Pathan Ka Challange

Pathan ny challange kiya k

Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.

Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...

Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum...!!

Khwab

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Rank Me Aaya. News channel walu ne pucha..

Ab Aaghe Kya Karoge ?

Pathan : bachpan se ek khwab Dekha Hai apna tandoor Center kholu ga...

Pathan or Gadhe me 3 Batien Common hain

1) Bachpan me Dono bhi Khubsurat The.

2) Bachpan se hi Mehnati hote hn

3) Bare ho kr Dono Transport ka Kaam kerte hai.

To Main Batata..

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya

Pathan Gussey me Bolta howa bhaga

Khocha agar tere Bap ka Hakumat nahi hota to tujhe Batata???

Akele

Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy

Pathan : pta Nai

Mje to Khud Mare Hue 8 Sal Hogye

Moral: pathano ko marne k bad B akal nae ati

Pathan Ka Pyar

Pathan (in romantic mood) :Tum meri zindgi ho!!

Wife : aur kaho achcha lag raha hai!!

Pathan : aur LANAT hai aisi zindagi pe!!!!!

Baap Ka Naam ''Google Khan''

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??

Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!

Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....

Eid mubarak

Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,

Jis pe likha tha

“EiD MUBARAK”

Pathan ne chup k se note jeib me rakhte huye kaha

“KHER MUBARAK.

Kangal Pathan

ek Pathan kangal ho gya to us ny apni Bivi se kaha

bachon ko un k nanky bhej do

AuR tum apni ammi k ghar chali jao

Mera Allah malik

Main apny susral chala jata ho

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Pathan Sardar Jokes

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Bhikari Pathan Se: Mujhy Khaany ko Kuch Mil Sakta hai.

Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha lo Gay?

Bhikari: G Han.

Pathan: Acha to Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana

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1Pthan k ghr Gas ka bill 50,000 aya

Wo sui gas ofice gya Or oficer se bola:

Tm log muje ye btao begherto ?

Kya dozkh ka pipe mere ghr se ja rha h:

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4 Pathan train k piche bhag rahe thay,

2 charh gaey

To train men logon ne kaha

WELDONE

Pathan: khaak well done?

Jana to unhen tha hum to chorne aaey thay.

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  Pathan :

Ye FRIJ kitne ka hai ?

Dukandar :

Hm pathano ko koi cheez nhi bechte.

Pathan after 1 month clean shave or 3 piece suit pehn kr gya :

Pathan :

Ye FRIJ kitne ka hy ?

Dukandar:

Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.

After 2 months full Angrez ban k gya :

What’s the cost of that FIRIJ

Dukandar :

Hm pathano ko chezen nhi bechte.

Pathan gusse me :

Tujhe kese pata chal jata hai k me pathan hon ?

Dukandar :

Q k ye FRIJ nhi ” ALMAARi ” hy.

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Pathan Halwayi se: Tum kitny salon se Jalebi bana rahy ho?

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Halwayi baray fakhar se: 20 saal se

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Pathan: Bari sharam ki baat hai tum se aaj tak Jalebi seedhi nahi bani

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Bewi: aap boht moty hoty ja rahy hain

Pathan: tum bhi moti hoti ja rahi ho

Bewi: Mai tu Maa banny wali hun

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Pathan: Mai bhi tu baap banny wala hun

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Admi: Apko garmi lagti hai tu kia kartay ho??

Sardar: AC ke qareeb baith jata hon

Admi: Phir bhi garmi lagy tu kia karty ho?

Sardar: Phir AC ko ON kar laita hon

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1 sardar ghar se nekla tu daikha ke samnay kailay ka chelka para howa tha

Sardar: O mere khudaya.. Aaj phir phisalna parega

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Sardar's Daugher: Abba Kal Hamary ghar se 1 band kam ho jayega

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Dosre din larki ghar se bhag gayi

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Sardar: Larki ne kaam tu acha nahi ki…….. Par thi wo Najoomi

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Teacher: Sardar Ki 5 Biwian 20 Bachay

Aur Pathan Ki 1 Biwi 9 Bachay To Batao In Dono Mein Kaun Acha?

 Papu: Score To Sardar Ka Acha Hai Magar Strike Rate Pathan Ka Acha HAi.

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 Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

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  Sardar to Pathan: Batti te Batti kintay honday?

          Pathan: Very simple Do Battian.

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  Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai

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 Pathan to Friend: Yara aaj hum ne ek aesa zabardst sweet Dish banaya tum khush hojaye gi.

Friend: O khan sahab kya banaya hai?

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Pathan: Naswar Gosht.

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 Sardar buji hue ciagrate p rha tha

   Pathan ne pocha ye Kaise p rhe ho

   Dhuwan to nikal nhi rha.

   Sardar bola: Pagal cigrate CNG pe hy

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  Ek Pathan PCO shop pr gaya.

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Or

Sardar Operator ko

Zordar

2

Thappar lagaye

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Guess Q

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.

Bcz

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Shop pr likha

Tha

K

Number milane c pehly

2 lagana

Mat bholain

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  Sardar : Es saal rozay rakho gy?

Pathan : Nai yar.

Sardar : or travi parote?

Pathan : Mushkil hy.

Sardar : Or Aftari karogy?

Pathan : Aho! Hun innay vi kafir nai

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 1 sardar k Ghar pr Board laga hua tha.

Wife M.sc

&.

Husband F.sc.

Pathan ny pucha:

Aap ki wife itni educated aur aap Q nhi....?

Sardar ny kaha:

Matlab to ek hi hy....

M.sc

Mother of Seven Childrens

F.sc

Father of Seven Childrens

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 Pathan Ny Naswar Ki Dukhan Kholi..

Sb Dekh Kr Boht Hansy..

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Qk

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Dukan Pr Board Laga Tha K

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Ladies K Liye Parday Ka Intezam Hai...

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 Pathan to Molvi: kya wazu kiye bina Namaz ho jati hai?

Molvi: Nahi,

Pathan: Hoti hai yaar!

Molvi: Nahi hoti Bhai.

Pathan: Maine khud parh ker dekhi hai...

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 Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?

Sardar: Frog

Pathan Theek hai, or batao,

Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.

Pathan: Shabash......

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 1 pathan naha raha tha, k aik sardar darwazey pe aaya,

Pathan aise he bahar aagaya,

Sardar bola: Kuch to pehan lo yaar.

Pathan bhag ker andar gaya aur CHAPPAL Pehan ker aagaya...

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 1 Truck dosry Truck ko rassi se baandh kar le jar aha tha

.

Yai daikh kar sardar hans kar lot pot hogia owr kahny laga:

1 rassi ko le jany ke lie 2, 2 truck

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 Sardar: Itnay saray log football ko laat kion mar rahay hain?

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 Pathan : Goal karny ke lie

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Sardar: Gol hi tu hai, owr kitna gol karengay

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  Pathan: Esa kia karain ke saanp bhi mar jaye owr lati bhi na tootay

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Sardar: Jootay se mar do

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  Pehla Zaheen Sardar

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Teacher: Jo sakhs kuch nahi sun sakta usay English mai kia kahaingy??

Sardar: Kuch bhi Kaho, usay konsa sunayi daita hai

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  Sardar to Pathan : Jab mai sota hon mairy khwab mai Bandar football khailty hain

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 Pathan : Eat this medicine before you sleep

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Sardar: Kal se Khawonga, aaj unka final hai

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  Sardar 1: yaar aaj mujhe ajeeb msg aya owr maira mobile bhi band ho gia

 Pathan : Esa konsa msg tha?

 Sardar : "Battery Low"

 Pathan : O send kar, doston ko darayengy

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 Sardar ke 10 bachon mai 1 alag dikhta tha

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Jab Us ki Bewi marny wali thi tu sardar ne Pocha: Ab tu bata do Yai kis ka hai?

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Bewi: Sirf Yahi aap ka hai